Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Unknown Friends (Bloggers world)

They were there, peeking in
sometimes saying something
mostly quiet
I know, I'm like them
Stopping by to see what's new
What you have to say,
or what you've created
Unfortunately,
The visits fade
like the days that pass
Abandoned pages fill the screen
no updates, no goodbye's
You vanish
till there is no one left to read
the words that I share
no one left that cares to see
what I'm pouring onto the digital page
(Real life gets in the way, they say, which may be true. I can't blame them.)
But this is my life, in simple stanza's
These are my dreams, in prose
This is my vision, through my mind's eye
This is my home

Friday, December 23, 2005

This Christmas Day

Brightly colored presents
Set carefully around the tree
The angel looking down
Looking at you for me

Stockings filled with treats
Hearts filled with love
Snow is gently falling
From the heavens above

The family will gather all around the table
And the laughter will fill the air
You would be here if you were able
But you have a job to do over there

You are at the table and in our hearts
You’re never far despite the miles
We’re happy even when the crying starts
We’re sad despite the smiles

This Christmas day
This Christmas day

We miss you

This Christmas day

For all in our military unable to be home, we love you and miss you. Merry Christmas.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Snapshots of the last century

Guilty pleasures, secret treasures, diving deeper, burning plains
Happy memories, fading tragedies, meet the reaper, lonely game
Infectious laughter, playful banter, star filled nights, bitter tears
Deserted sidewalks, distant catcalls, burned out lights, passing years
Atmospheric pressure, barometric measure, mercury rises, prayer in schools
Economic change, acid rain, hold-up disguises, the golden rule
Dying trees, busted knees, holiday enjoyment, guns kill
Birth and death, out of breath, unemployment, lack of skill
Traffic jam, foreign land, politicians’ feast, blinded eyes
Snow falls, fallout calls, peace in the east, leaders die
Dollar drops, belly flops, puppy dogs, ice cream cone
Air pollution, no solutions, burning logs, no fly zone
Space exploration, silent meditation, fading light, infidelity
Melancholy smile, courtroom trial, cock fight, nothing’s free
Broken lip, curvaceous hip, credit cards, newspaper lingo
Wedding bells, sex sells, questionable bard, elderly bingo
Chicken wings, tattooed rings, worn out tires, rainy night
Settling dust, youthful lust, unspoken desires, line of sight
Deadly disease, honey bees, flowering child, futures dream
Superstitious, inconspicuous, running wild, the abused scream
Generation gap, segregation act, colors bleed, stars shine
Hunger strike, motor bike, smoking weed, children whine
Big machines, laser beams, new friends, outer space
Ghosts return, cities burn, the end begins, the human race
Planets rotate, man to primate, circles close, Darwinism
Soul to sole, role to roll, bloody nose, extremism
Age old deities, overwhelming varieties, ceaseless bombardment, silence
Taxation, representation, substandard apartment, pestilence
Insecticide, genocide, candy bars, bullets to spare
Lead in paint, passionate faint, space age cars, golden hair
Religious belief, disappearing reef, fishnet stockings, baseball cleat
Childhood heroes, too many zeroes, morning dew, mad cow meat
High speed chase, dropped case, anorexia, dangerous bend
Toxic fumes, empty rooms, dyslexia, the end.

Monday, December 12, 2005

I am, Part III - Yearning

I am...
...longing for that first kiss, again
...working hard to get ahead
...trying to keep it real and simple
...not as good a writer as I want to be
...undisciplined
...a hero in my minds eye
...a man out of place, at times
...awkward when I want to be smooth, smooth when I'm alone
...not strong enough to carry the weight of the world, but I'll try
...in quote form (from a song by Rush) "in a groove now, or is it a rut?"
...looking for the truth, everywhere
...not getting caught up in the hype, most of the time
...not going to get ahead by kissing anyone's ass; I work hard - recognize it
...seeking the guidance within, rather looking for it outside myself
...not spiritual, nor religious anymore
...aiming to please my harshest critic, me

Friday, December 2, 2005

My surrender



Smile fades into frown
The world is upside down
The gentle caress is gone

Love melts into tolerance
No longer have legs to dance
Unforeseen circumstance

Can’t observe your vacant stare
It’s more than I can bear
Focused anywhere, but here

Autumn passing to cold winter night
Prelude to another vicious fight
No one is ever right

Emotional baggage on our back
Devotional rhetoric off-track
I can’t keep picking up the slack

This should come as no surprise
You could have read it in my eyes
It’s time to unload the disguise

Of love






Monday, November 28, 2005

Father




“Why didn’t you ever guide me”, I asked?
“He said there were no maps of the heart
And the journey is yours only”
It took years to understand the wisdom he shared
And he...
…never turned a deaf ear
…always shared his time
…never turned me away
…did his best to comfort me


I wish it was real
In my dreams, you were a father
The dialog was imagination
You never said that much, ever
Why weren’t you there
Instead of hiding in plain view
Suspicious, greedy
Needy and childish

Why weren’t you my
teacher, my guide
One to reveal the secrets of the world
To show the right’s and wrongs,
Display the tendency of love

Where were you?

Thursday, November 17, 2005

plunge

hope is not for the weak in spirit
dreams are not for the faint of heart

so close your eyes
take a breath
move closer to the edge
take that step

into the unknown
where adventure unfolds

life is not a spectator sport

Sunday, November 6, 2005

deep

She cuts me
without a blade, but
with her tongue
the incision is made

and I bleed

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

Firefight

Dodging the bullets that fall like rain,
wondering if the world will ever be the same
As I duck and run for cover, run for cover

Dodging the bullets that fall around my head,
wondering if I will end up dead
I just hope to find some cover, need some cover

I just hope, I just hope to make it home


Dedicated to those that live to fight another day, and those that didn't.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

10 seconds of pain

She asked what’s wrong.
“Nothing,” he stared at the wall.
“You sure?” she didn’t seem concerned.
“Yeah,” he lied.
“I love you,” she lied.
“I love you too.”

Monday, October 17, 2005

What it all means

I sometimes wonder what goes through a writer's head when they write, and I wonder why they write the way they do. In case anyone ever wondered that about me, here's my story.

Poetry expresses an emotion, occurrence, dream, thought, moment, wish, fantasy, idea or ideal. For me, poetry (and verse, and all that other fun stuff) becomes an avenue of escape from the mundane and predictable to the surreal, improbable, and even impossible. The beauty of poetry exists in the interpretation; the ten different ideas or thoughts that ten different people can get from the same few lines. Poetry can open doors to places no one ever knew existed. It unlocks something within us, draws on our own references to pull us into that moment or into our own moment. Verse can produce anger, tears, reflection, derision, interest, fascination, infatuation, love, hate, denial, guilt, and boredom, among host of other emotions. Poetry is fluid and takes the shape of the readers mind; I like it that way. My idea when I write a verse may be totally different than the reader’s idea when they read it. And it should be that way. Readers can interpret lines differently based on their sex, experience, background, age, time of day, etc. What makes sense to some is gibberish to others. What touches some angers others. What bores one, may inspire another. Poetry takes words, assembled in a unique package of lines, stanzas and structures, and opens window. That window can become an opportunity to unleash a wellspring of feelings or images. The words are free to assume whatever forms the writer and the reader chooses; the only limitation is imagination. For me, poetry expresses much in a short amount of time. A few simple lines can contain the same story as a novel, condensed, leaving the reader to fill in the details. It requires a willingness by the reader to fill in those blanks, to complete the poem so that it is only for them. Unlike a novel, there is no beginning or end, just possibilities. Sure, you can point at the first word and the last word and say it starts here and ends here, but someone else may disagree and say the beginning was long before the first word, and the ending is still being written. At least, that’s the way they see it from their window.

Poetry, simply stated, is nothing but a jumble of words with limitless potential, to the writer and reader alike.

It’s meaningless and meaningful, helpless and helpful, true and imagined.

Poetry is what we want it to be.

And it just, is.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Purchase

Buy me the sky, and paint it orange and green
Buy me a mountain top, and bring it down to me
Buy me the ocean blue, and put it in my room
It doesn’t matter to me, as long as it comes from you

Buy me a painting, and put it under my bed
Buy me a kettle, and put it onto my head
Buy me a book, that no one has ever read
It doesn’t matter to me, as long as it comes from you

Life is so much sweeter
When I’m spending it with you
The water is so much deeper
But I’m not afraid with you

Buy me the music, no one has ever played
Buy me the hotel, where no one has ever stayed
Buy me the rhythm, and pair it with the blues
It would be so very sweet, as long as it comes from you

Buy me a second, maybe a minute, or an hour
Buy me a day, a month, or even a year
Buy me a millenium, or maybe even two
It doesn’t matter, as long as I spend it with you

Life is so much sweeter
When I’m sharing it with you
The water so much clearer
I’ll dive in with you

Buy me forever, and place it in a jar
Buy me your smile, and place it in my heart
Buy me your heart, and place it here with mine
Together beating, until the end of time

With you
Sweeter
With you

Saturday, October 1, 2005

=

we love one another
we hurt one another
we take care of each other
we share with each other
we're best friends
we're bitter enemies
we give and take
we love and hate
we feel left out
we work it out
we push and shove
we kiss and love
we push and pull
we are equal

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Invitation

A presence of splendid features so fine
Enraptures the heart, body and mind
A glimpse of such a beautiful face
The allure of confidence, style and grace
Magnetic fields tingle on the skin
Gravitational pull deep within
Mutual drive down an uncharted route
Freedom beyond misgiving and doubt

Desire

A promise of a second glance
The uncertainty of taking a chance
The eagerness of heart’s desires
Excitement spreads like prairie fire
Suspense in first words spoken
Denial of past hearts broken
Apprehension of feelings to share
The prospect of having someone care

Anticipation

The charm of smiles across the room
Lure of seduction in full bloom
Flattery in words exchanged
Prelude to passion untamed
The enticement of a shoulder bare
Or fingers running through soft hair
Intoxication of new found curves
Enhanced sensation, heightened nerves

Arrival

Fear and anxiety slowly recede
To pleasure, bodies eagerly concede
Submitting to heat, a raging fire
Flesh shudders in the throes of desire
The moments pass deliciously sweet
Movements designed for ultimate release
The greatest pleasure ever known
The union of hearts, bodies and souls

Acceptance

Friday, September 16, 2005

False Prophets

Don’t believe all that you see
Or all that you hear
One day
It will all disappear
And the wisdom of the ages
And the intelligence that served you well
Will fade into dust
To be blown across the winds of time
Stinging the eyes of strangers
Who will never understand
And never even try
Until the dawn breaks
And the cycle ends
And we’re truly free

Thursday, September 8, 2005

Bittersweet

Sometimes moments aren’t what I expect
Life throws me a curve
I’m not going to toss the towel in yet
I must try to live and learn

And hope that tomorrow and the day after that
Will be have everything that I’ll ever need
Because yesterday is gone, and today slips away
And the aftertaste is too bittersweet

Sometimes people aren’t what I expect
They play by their own set of rules
I can’t take myself out of the game yet
I have to keep playing the fool

And hope that she will see me for what I really am
And not what she hopes I can be
Because I’m too old to change, and too young to die
With memories this bittersweet

My life, my love
Bittersweet

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

The only thing we can't control, we tempt

It can all change, with a splashing wave
of even a crash of thunder
People mill about, stare at the sky
in wonder

the heavens open
unleashing their pent up fury
and change life in drastic
dramatic ways

we heed no warnings - man can survive anything
(we foolheartedly and arrogantly believe.)
well, maybe mankind, but not all men

we live on the edge
of a million disasters waiting to happen
and we smile, ignorant in our bliss
until the images appear on tv
in the paper, in all the magazines
and on every web page

we follow with the story
with a sick fascination,
uttering words of prayer for those unfortunate souls
who never saw it coming
even though
we all push the envelope
we push nature
we aren't happy when she pushes back

we act surprised
when we should know better
we appear shocked
in the blazing heat or the flooded street

We cry to out toward the sky
"Why?"
and all we hear in return, is silence
because the answer is there
we just don't listen

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Comment Spam

I turned on word verification because I received 10 Spam comments on my last post (which totally deflated my balloon when I thought I had 14 real comments-does anybody ever read my posts?) Anyway, I hope this small inconvenience doesn't stop real people from leaving comments. I apologize for this, but those spam comments are a pain in the butt.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

I am, Part II - Excess

I am the one that...
...cares a little too much
...drinks way too much, when I drink
...swears all the time
...thinks, analyzes and evaluates all the time
...believes in love too much
...spends more money than I should
...eats too much
...sleeps in too much
...smokes too much, when I smoke
...stays up too late, too often
...reads several books at once
...starts several projects at the same time
...stockpiles what I like, whether I need it or not
...will keep in touch, whether you like it or not
...believes in the rules, common sense and common courtesy
...puts my heart, as well as my head, into my job
...searches for the answers

Monday, August 15, 2005

Promise

Distant memories
puddling like summer's rain,
wash me clean of you

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Separation of church and me

I received email today
From a friend, a relative, an associate
That said we should pray
For the little ones, the poor
Those too sick to pray for themselves

To pray
For those in the service
Deployed in countries we cannot spell
Fighting for causes not our own
Die for who knows what
Who knows where

To pray for our leadership
To guide us through the difficult economy
The war they created
The social security fiasco
For their arrogance

I receive a lot of emails about who to pray for
With requests and pleas, heart touching stories and horrific details about injustice
Sickness, ailments and death
War torn orphans and crack babies
Housing project rejects and inner city gangs
All crying out for help
All crying for my prayers

Do prayers really help?
Do my words, appeals and petitions really make a difference
to some unknown supreme being
that allows all this pain and unfairness anyway?

Don’t preach to me
Don’t quote scripture
Don’t tell me how the Lord works…

And don’t email me asking for prayers.

You pray your way,
I’ll pray mine…privately.

Sunday, August 7, 2005

Uncomfortable, Part II - The pieces

Give a little
Take a little
Push a little
Pull a little

Sacrifices made
Sacrifices to make
Promises made
Promises to break

Give a little
Take some more
Start a family
Start a war

Selfish wretch
Self contained
No self respect
Pass the blame

Feed the flames
You let them die
But you learned to love
what was left behind


That was me

I don’t what to be
Something learned

Saturday, August 6, 2005

Sometimes

Not a one night stand but a good romance
you walked into my life by circumstance
love was so close, so very near
I long to hold you now, hold you here

even though it was only a short time
that we spent together
I feel like I've known you
known you forever

sometimes
a little bit of something
can feel so good

other times
I walk around in silence
doing what I should

every time
I look deep into your eyes
I long to feel your touch

sometimes
a little bit of something
can be a bit too much

We sang aloud magical tunes
in harmony, we sang the blues
stared at the stars from a moonless beach
your heart was close but just out of reach

even though it was only a short time
that we spent together
It feels like you've been gone
gone forever

sometimes
a little bit of something
can feel so good

other times
I walk around in silence
doing what I should

every time
I look deep into your eyes
I long to feel your touch

sometimes
a little bit of something
is a bit too much

-summer, 1989

Tuesday, August 2, 2005

Inside

Through the night
I lie sleepless
through the darkness
I see distant light
through the silence
I hear soothing rhythms
through the heartbreak
I've done only wrong

Within my heart
an ache too sweet
within my soul
emotions dance
within my being
fire burns bright
within my life
no more retreat

Forgive my errors
human mistakes
forgive my ignorance
I strive to learn
forgive my actions
quick and thoughtless
forgive my arrogance
I humbly ask

through the night,
within my heart,
forgive my errors,


inside

Sunday, July 31, 2005

I am, Part I - Chalk outline of me

I am...
...the pursuer, never the pursued
...the victim in a victimless crime
...the nice guy, in nice guys finish last
...getting gray prematurely
...the one who gets dumped
...the one who gets lied to and taken for granted
...the one with a soft heart, soft middle, soft head
...underestimated
...underappreciated
...outspoken, at times
...sometimes paranoid
...losing faith in my community, god, and humanity
...a good cook
...a decent artist
...learning to write
...learning, always
...systematic and logical
...a dreamer
...alone, even when I'm with you
...tall
...trying to guide myself with a broken compass
...lost
...moved by a great piece of art - be it music, sculpture, painting
...one who can break down a song by instrument, in my head, when I hear it
...rarely selfish
...one who wishes far too much
...falling asleep at the wheel.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Follow

She said follow me to the edge of always
On my soul she leaves fingerprints of future memories

in her dominion she leads me to the river of time
we watch our history rippling on the waves of years

once upon a time...

we scaled mountains of solitude
descended canyons of doubt
walked along the plains of gratitude
trekked through the forest of love

the mass of trees grew thin
like the weak heartbeat within
we avoided each others eyes
our words, wilted, fell to the ground

blanketed under the heavy snows of despair
and chilled by the downpour of hate
we feared the painful bolts of anger
we became ravaged by the fever of regret

yet, somehow, we found our way...

we reached the tropics of forgiveness
after varying degrees of guilt
approached the latitude of acceptance
and persevered the longitude of blame


now...

we swim in the sea of redemption
and bask on the beaches of devotion
after nights of anxious uncertainty
we awaken to each new dawn of hope

in the land of eternal dreams

Thursday, July 14, 2005

demons

Numbing liquid
Shields my pain
Alone to face
Another day

Morning sunshine
Can’t reach inside
To shed some light
Where the demons hide

A simple truth
The simpler lies
Time spent, wasted
Rules defied

Passion dwindled
Visions blurred
Focus shifted
With hurtful words

Search for answers
I cannot find
To shed some light
Of demons minds

Search for purpose
Seek the truth
Days are passing
So is youth

Another day
Another lie
Feeds the demons
Where they lie

Close the bottle
Turn out the light
Forget the demons
For another night

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

sometimes human

a little too often, I forget
a little too often, I slip
lost my grip, on reality
lost myself, in fantasy

when the darkness fades away
the memories remain

Emotional nightmare of waking dreams
Alien landscape echoes with empty screams
That seem
Almost human
My screams
sometimes human


a little too quickly, I react
a little too quickly, I can crack
lost my hold, on certainty
lost my soul, for eternity

when the mind starts to stray
the agony gets inflamed


Emotional nightmare of empty dreams
Alien landscape echoes with waking screams
That seem
Almost human
My screams
sometimes human


a little too late, I escape
a little too late, I pray
lost my heart, it’s broken free
lost in time, my tranquility

when the anger burns to gray
the scars still remain

Emotional landscape of waking dreams
Alien nightmares echo with primal screams
That seem
Almost human
My screams
sometimes human

I seem
sometimes human

Saturday, July 9, 2005

Eternal Optimist

I sit alone, pained
Disgusted with myself
For missing another rare chance,
to have a brief measure of time,
Alone,
with you

A moment
a mere second, possibly even -
a kiss - magical, simple, powerful
Maybe it’s only a dreamer’s dream,
a romantic’s whim…
a fantasy


Alone again
Trapped with the scenarios
of what I should have done,
could have done
didn’t do…

I grow hungrier for you,
your touch,
your eyes,
your perfume,
your taste

Wondering if…
what if…
maybe if…

but that makes me feel worse…

and better, ironically

A paradox of feelings
swept away with the clarity of second guessing,
when the moment has passed,
hindsight is perfect but the opportunity missed,
again

The rejection and fears linger,
they hold me back,
and I want to move in,
move close to you,
beside you,
around you,
within you

Swiftly, firmly, hungrily… finally…
…yet, the demons arise…

Would you reject me again?
A second time,
without a chance to feel you,
to measure your splendid figure
of graceful arcs and curves,
flesh and fire, heat and desire?
Never once a kiss
- quick, warm, hard –
heavenly with your perfect lips
A guilty pleasure, secret and divine
– a moment to savor when we can smile to ourselves,
later, when no one is looking -

Not even a brief span of time to hold you,
warm and close, heat rising, hearts racing….
Will there ever be a moment alone, again,
before the clock strikes the zero hour and everything changes?
A possibility to close the gap, embrace the truth, and each other…

What I wouldn’t do for a kiss!!!

Like some fool pulled into a game he cannot win,
and shouldn’t be playing, I sit alone

Again

Aching, wanting, yearning…
hoping for a fleeting chance, a singular instance,
a few seconds of bliss,
a flash of passion,
uninhibited, animal and reckless
satisfying, delicious, intoxicating

Have I let you slip through my hands like a dream?
A vision of you, superb and beautiful, admired and
wanted, wanted more than you will ever know

I can’t help but smile at what could have been,
should have been,
would have been…


Or what still can be…

Tuesday, July 5, 2005

Nothing

There’s a girl I used to know
She taught me all I needed to know
About nothing
She knew a lot about nothing

We’d drive down to the rivers edge
Watch the stars from a rocky ledge
And do nothing
A whole lot of nothing

We’d never say very many words
And the moment’s felt so right
So awkward, we’d dance to the rhythm
Of the swaying trees in the moonlight

She was a girl I used to know
The taught me all I needed to know
About nothing
She felt a lot of nothing

I walked down to the river’s shore
Saw her body by the river floor
And I did nothing
She told me to do nothing

She never said very many words
And she had given up the fight
I shed a tear and said goodbye
as she disappeared in the moonlight

She said do nothing
so I did nothing

Friday, July 1, 2005

They

Washed away
Spilled out with the tide
Vanishing
Into the lonely night
They say it’s always darkest just before the light

Pushed away
Angrily cast aside
Witnessing
The brutality inside
They say it’s always calmest just before the storm

But what do they really know?
Does their knowledge ever show?
These people that speak their minds,
What are they trying to hide?
What’s inside?

The stain remains
No matter how hard they scrub
Forever unclean
Like the basis of their love
They say you can never go home again

The hate remains
No matter what they do
Dysfunctional
Maybe even more than me and you
They say the end justifies the means

But what do they really know?
And who are they anyway?
And why do they speak?
And why do we care?

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Heresay

She said
That you said
That I said
She had nothing left to say

You know
That I know
That she knows
There can be no other way

She said
That you said
That I said
We should all just go away

You know
That I know
That she knows
That we will never part ways

She said
That I know
That she said
She had nothing left to say

You said
That I know
That she knows
There can be no other way

I said
That you know
That she said
That we will never part ways

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Uncomfortable

Shift position, realign
My confidence, in decline
No laughing matter, anymore
Time to leave now, out the door

I thnk that I should go away
I have trouble letting go, you say
Of all the things I should have never known
Maybe this place isn’t home

Shift ideals, fall behind
My reflection, so unkind
No independence, can’t stand alone
Sinking feelings, chill my bones

I believe I should just leave
I can’t deal with anything
Of all the things I wanted most
I end up burnt more than toast

I should have left you all alone
Was better off out on my own
You have crossed to many lines
I don’t think I’ll ever feel fine




I just want to relax

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Forbidden


One glorious stolen moment. Heartbeats quicken
as the distance between declines. Time stands still
as we tangle flesh, heat, breath, desire. Muscles tense,
butterflies dance. Your fingers firmly grip my shirt; my hand caresses the small of your back. I pull you close. Our bodies
Intertwine fluidly. I’m lost in the tenderness, the warm
wet silky smoothness of your lips and mouth.
Hungrily we explore uncharted terrain, savoring the sensations,
losing ourselves in the other, engulfed and enthralled. Fulfilled momentarily,
we reluctantly release. Our eyes open slowly, dreamily. My hand brushes your flushed cheek, traces your perfect jaw line. My lips lightly glide down your delicate neck, sparking electricity down your spine.
One final touch, hand to hand, soul to soul, and we depart.
Alone now. Your scent lingers with me.
I crave your sweetness.
Eagerly, I wait.

Wednesday, June 8, 2005

Flicker

A thousand candles
Shining in an empty room
A billion lost souls
Crying out for you

A million voices
Calling out in the rain
One broken heart
Lost forever in pain

A friendless candle
Shimmers in a crowded room
One lonely lost soul
Daydreams of you

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Today & Tomorrow

To touch your cheek
your lips
your face
to hold you close
a loving
embrace
to take your hand
wherever
you lead
to fill your wants
and hopes
and needs
to love you dearly
completely
and true
to love one another
me
and you
For my wife; a long time ago, now and forever

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

In the distance

The woman sits in the dark, staring out the window. Her room is filled with strange and creepy shadows, so she stares outside to avoid them. The power had inexplicably gone out about an hour ago. The whole block sits under a veil of darkness. Fallen leaves occasionally dance and crackle down the street as tree branches click like bones in the warm autumn breeze. Silence. No dogs bark, no cars pass on the street. The silence unnerves the woman, makes her edgy. Even the breeze is dying. Life seems to have ground to a halt around her, like she was the last of humanity.
She stands up and walks to the phone to call the electric company. As she reaches out to the receiver, a chilling thought runs through her head: what if the phone is dead? She scolds herself for behaving like a scared child. The phone will be fine, she assures herself, this isn’t one of those awful horror movies. Her hand shakes uncontrollably as she touches the cold plastic of the phone. She pulls away. Stop it! It’s just the phone! Pick it up! Her heart beats faster as her hand darts out and grabs the phone before her mind can stop it. She stares into darkness in disbelief. She drops the receiver and backs away, as if the phone is a deadly snake ready to strike. The phone comes to rest on the floor, silent.
In the distance, a scream pierces the silence of the night. The woman quickly backs herself into a corner, equal distance from the open window and the dead phone. She crouches low, tighter, trying to make herself disappear. Another scream rings out, this time much closer. She covers her ears, her mind racing. What is going on?
After several minutes, she uncovers her ears. Silence again rules the night. After a moment, the silence seems to grow unbearable. More comforting than a scream, though, she thinks to herself. She stands up in the corner, embarrassed and braver as the time passes. She believes it kids were screaming, perhaps a Halloween prank to scare any trick-or-treaters still on the loose. That, maybe, or she may have even imagined the screams. That could be it, she tells herself, my imagination is going crazy in the silent darkness. Realizing that she is sweating, she walks over to the open window to cool herself in the fading breeze. Pulling the curtains back, she sees him: A man with an awkward grinning face, and a large knife dripping blood. She screams.
In the distance, an angry woman slams her window shut. She found it impossible to sleep with all the crazies in the neighborhood screaming at the tops of their lungs. “one power outage, and the town goes nuts,” she mumbles to herself as she kicks of her slippers and gets back into bed. After several minutes, the room becomes stuffy. Unable to fall asleep because of the heat, the woman gets up and throws the window open. She returns to bed. As her head hits the pillow, the power comes back on. Squinting in the blinding light, the woman sees the strange grinning man with the bloody knife beside her bed. She screams.

In the distance…
A grin…
A drip…
A scream…


I wrote this as a 2004 Halloween story for my daughters. They enjoyed it very much.

Connection

We disconnect. Your words linger with me
like the image of your smiling face.
So beautiful.

I patiently wait.

Hearing your voice, thoughts,
fears and desires fuel my ambition.

Hope rises with every ring of the telephone.
Sometimes I win; somtimes I lose.
This time, it's you.

I smile.

Your Time

Steal a second
of time, conceal it
with the others
hidden in a safe place
'til I have enough
to make a day, one
measure of time
to steal away
with you

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Forever

lost children, crying out in the rain
lost innocence, bearing adulthood's blame

forgiveness, is not to be received
the innocent, so easily decieved

"don't cry for me
don't shed a tear
don't forget me because I'm not here

don't cry for me
don't shed a tear
I'll always be waiting, always be waiting


over there...
with my best friend
we'll always be waiting, always be waiting..."

Monday, May 9, 2005

adjust

Unconsciously aware
of my current state of affairs
Unceremoniously left behind
By a stronger, wandering mind

My shell quivers with excitement
Despite my current predicament
This hell that I am thrust into
Is destined to divide me in two

Subconsciously I’m there
But physically unaware
Unsure of what I expect to find
Senses fading, eyes going blind

Images bring enlightenment
My being shifts in realignment
As my senses are born anew
I awaken with the clarity of truth

Friday, May 6, 2005

wish

in a room full of icons and achievements of others
what have I done? What have I accomplished?

It cannot be seen, but felt
by the few who know the real me
because they chose to know
they ask and open themselves,
as I do for them
they know the truths
without knowing the whole truth
but the sum is made of the parts and they each know,
truth

they have the story of a man
a man with no mission
but life
with no regrets
and no obligations except to those who dare,
who have the courage to care

the many, the few, semantics matter little

just love me for me
and I'll love you for you
we'll understand and relate
experiences.

the world will keep spinning
and the religous will pray
the sun will rise,the moon will wax and wane
and we will have the few precious moments that made our hearts race
and our spirits soar
because, when it's all said and done,
what have I done?

I hope I make you feel
I hope you make me feel

On the other hand

There is no boundry
no line in the sand
drawn upon
the other hand

there is no limit
dreams abound
wishes granted
lost hearts are found

our thoughts may roam
between the how and where
but nothing thrives
like it does right here

there is no right
there is no wrong
nothing sacred
no theme song

there is nothing like
the promised land
that resides
on the other hand

Thursday, May 5, 2005

The Last Dance

The last note slowly fades into darkness…
Don’t give me that look,
Like you didn’t know what was going on…

I saw it in your eyes
Like you saw it in mine
The wanting, passion
Desire and lust….

The last note travels on
Drifting, departing
Beyond our range of understanding

Until there is nothing left
But you and me,
Alone
Breathless

Vanity

The image in the mirror of my mind
Is unlike the actual mirror, so unkind
Years of denial, disappointment and rage
Never seem to touch my likeness with age
Features defined with the splendor of youth
Are unchanged by harsh realities of truth
Deep lines of worry that crisscross my face
Can never reach me in this solitary place
Forever handsome, yet strong, young and free
The mental mirror’s sole purpose: to deceive

Wednesday, May 4, 2005

Clarity

One person’s shit is another person’s treasure
So treasure what you love and discard the rest
And make someone happy…if you can,
because no one is happy for long
And the feelings start to change
Regional differences promote realignment
Matrimonial promises
Fade like the summer wind
And all we’re left with is bitter memories
And a need to escape
For a second, a minute, a lifetime
To be what we want to be
To be what we truly are
Individuals who have
The capacity to feel
For more than one
More than none
To experience more than regret and doubt
Beyond the religious rhetoric of damnation and sin
To look at what moves us, what fuels our drive to be free
To take that step,
Alone, naked, In front of a world that ignores our every move unless we defy it
We hold our heads up and we are what we choose to be
Without fear, remorse or need for forgiveness
We’ve run too long from what we want
To what we think should be
Because they’ve always told us what to be
We’ve run, and never stopped
Because that’s what they told us
And we’ve obeyed

Until now…
We’ve learned
Learned to live and think for ourselves
And to believe what we want to believe in
Sure, the real world may crush us, hold us back
But we’ll die fighting for the cause that allows us to live, free
The belief in ourselves, as individuals
With value, and a capacity for love
For one another
Without fear or repercussions
Or hatred for the way it has been

Stop running
We are free to live as we see fit

Ripple effect

1400 miles away
and I felt it

a tsunami of sadness
it surprised me

taken aback, I reflect
can't comprehend

unexpected, unwanted
who could have known

your state of mind
or the situation, circumstances

that culminated in a heated moment
and in the heat of the moment

the ring of the shot
shock and awe, locally

shock waves burst through the hearts
of friends and loved ones, near and far

who yearn to understand, heal
and ride the surge of sorrow



In memory of Tim S. You didn't deserve to go out like that

Reality

The world is unreal; surreal.
Reality is surreality.
Stranger things have happened, and they continue to happen.
Accountability disappears; it's everyone else's fault.
Looking out without looking within.
People get paid to create stupid commercials.
Reality tv is anything but real.
Entertainment is religion, entertainers=gods.
Teen clique, mouse click, predators preying in the temple of the divine online.
Do anything for money and people will watch.
MTV, empty tv, empty heads.
Emulate, copy, be unoriginal. It pays. Bling, nose ring, one night fling, screw everything.
Ratings soar, open sore.
Nothing to learn, money to burn.
Time passes.

How do you spend it?