glimpse

the image is burned into my mind

my heart, soul and being

the moment's grandeur 

splendid in it's simplicity

and complex beyond

imagination

my imagination 

getting the best of me

overwhelmed by curves

out of reach yet close

close enough to see

unseen, unknown

unfulfilled

with the yearning of

better times

welcome embraces

and curves

to see

to feel

to want

to have

to believe

to understand

be understood

closer

closer 

so close

close enough

to catch

a

glimpse

nowhere

gears rusted

stuck in a position

of disadvantage

the movements

halted in unison

disenchanted

a little oil

greases the wheels

of inertia

still we go

nowhere

gentle winds

unkept fields sway

hiding the wreckage

fire that raged

silenced in decay

old growth cleared

mountains crumble

avalanche of misery

rocky remains

still we go

nowhere

waves lap the shore

boats sink deep

anchored failure

island oasis

deserted dreams

unreachable now

hurricane forces

erode the landscape

of equality

still we go

nowhere

meteor crashed

alien absurdity

no new hope

astral projections

heavenly desires

obscured by doubt

feet grounded

eyes upward

heart racing

still we go

nowhere

 

on the wings of....

I could hear it
in the distance
the flapping,
heartbeat like - thump
thump, thump

of the devil's wings

or maybe angel's wings

It's so hard to tell
nowadays

I ran on dodging my poor decisions
and smart ones, alike

the sound, getting louder
closer, like the forbidden footsteps
of death at the door

but my fate would be worse than death
or life
or maybe not
can angels be evil?
can devils be kind?

I didn't want to find out
I rushed outside
only to find

the sound
of flapping
wings

...lies in disguise

There were dreams

and streams

consciousness

unaware

uncaring

unfiltered

undiscovered

so many

um, un

There is nothing

but the feeling

failure

failure

failure

reinforced

daily

so much music in me

unplayable

so much poetry

undecipherable    

so much

love

unrequited

unrequited

the daily toil

the earthen soil

that will cover

all of us

none of us

the select few

breathe

breath

breadth

aw man, shut the fuck up

whining crying crazy motherfucker

like the joker

it's a joke you wouldn't get

it's a fucking joke

I'm fighting

fighting

fighting

for my life here

stop laughing at me!

stop! 

I counted on you

I counted

I don't count

the numbers down add up

the numbers don't lie

the numbers

die

the only thing that can stop me

is me

or random circumstance

miracles are lies

in disguise

the endless lies

hope is for the hopeless

and dreams are for dreamers

but what about me?

The timing is off

I'm like an engine

that isn't running right

cruising along

unsteady, loud

I need an adjustment

from a qualified

person

to 

person

make me purr again

smooth out the rough

edges

the precision

that once ruled the mechanics

is off kilter

the steady roar

has been replaced

by whining and tears

An overhaul

of my engine

of me

is necessary 

to continue cruising

down the highway

and backroads

of life

failure

is imminent

the warning lights flash

mechanical failure

lifelong failure

what's the difference