Thursday, May 26, 2005

Today & Tomorrow

To touch your cheek
your lips
your face
to hold you close
a loving
embrace
to take your hand
wherever
you lead
to fill your wants
and hopes
and needs
to love you dearly
completely
and true
to love one another
me
and you
For my wife; a long time ago, now and forever

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

In the distance

The woman sits in the dark, staring out the window. Her room is filled with strange and creepy shadows, so she stares outside to avoid them. The power had inexplicably gone out about an hour ago. The whole block sits under a veil of darkness. Fallen leaves occasionally dance and crackle down the street as tree branches click like bones in the warm autumn breeze. Silence. No dogs bark, no cars pass on the street. The silence unnerves the woman, makes her edgy. Even the breeze is dying. Life seems to have ground to a halt around her, like she was the last of humanity.
She stands up and walks to the phone to call the electric company. As she reaches out to the receiver, a chilling thought runs through her head: what if the phone is dead? She scolds herself for behaving like a scared child. The phone will be fine, she assures herself, this isn’t one of those awful horror movies. Her hand shakes uncontrollably as she touches the cold plastic of the phone. She pulls away. Stop it! It’s just the phone! Pick it up! Her heart beats faster as her hand darts out and grabs the phone before her mind can stop it. She stares into darkness in disbelief. She drops the receiver and backs away, as if the phone is a deadly snake ready to strike. The phone comes to rest on the floor, silent.
In the distance, a scream pierces the silence of the night. The woman quickly backs herself into a corner, equal distance from the open window and the dead phone. She crouches low, tighter, trying to make herself disappear. Another scream rings out, this time much closer. She covers her ears, her mind racing. What is going on?
After several minutes, she uncovers her ears. Silence again rules the night. After a moment, the silence seems to grow unbearable. More comforting than a scream, though, she thinks to herself. She stands up in the corner, embarrassed and braver as the time passes. She believes it kids were screaming, perhaps a Halloween prank to scare any trick-or-treaters still on the loose. That, maybe, or she may have even imagined the screams. That could be it, she tells herself, my imagination is going crazy in the silent darkness. Realizing that she is sweating, she walks over to the open window to cool herself in the fading breeze. Pulling the curtains back, she sees him: A man with an awkward grinning face, and a large knife dripping blood. She screams.
In the distance, an angry woman slams her window shut. She found it impossible to sleep with all the crazies in the neighborhood screaming at the tops of their lungs. “one power outage, and the town goes nuts,” she mumbles to herself as she kicks of her slippers and gets back into bed. After several minutes, the room becomes stuffy. Unable to fall asleep because of the heat, the woman gets up and throws the window open. She returns to bed. As her head hits the pillow, the power comes back on. Squinting in the blinding light, the woman sees the strange grinning man with the bloody knife beside her bed. She screams.

In the distance…
A grin…
A drip…
A scream…


I wrote this as a 2004 Halloween story for my daughters. They enjoyed it very much.

Connection

We disconnect. Your words linger with me
like the image of your smiling face.
So beautiful.

I patiently wait.

Hearing your voice, thoughts,
fears and desires fuel my ambition.

Hope rises with every ring of the telephone.
Sometimes I win; somtimes I lose.
This time, it's you.

I smile.

Your Time

Steal a second
of time, conceal it
with the others
hidden in a safe place
'til I have enough
to make a day, one
measure of time
to steal away
with you

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Forever

lost children, crying out in the rain
lost innocence, bearing adulthood's blame

forgiveness, is not to be received
the innocent, so easily decieved

"don't cry for me
don't shed a tear
don't forget me because I'm not here

don't cry for me
don't shed a tear
I'll always be waiting, always be waiting


over there...
with my best friend
we'll always be waiting, always be waiting..."

Monday, May 9, 2005

adjust

Unconsciously aware
of my current state of affairs
Unceremoniously left behind
By a stronger, wandering mind

My shell quivers with excitement
Despite my current predicament
This hell that I am thrust into
Is destined to divide me in two

Subconsciously I’m there
But physically unaware
Unsure of what I expect to find
Senses fading, eyes going blind

Images bring enlightenment
My being shifts in realignment
As my senses are born anew
I awaken with the clarity of truth

Friday, May 6, 2005

wish

in a room full of icons and achievements of others
what have I done? What have I accomplished?

It cannot be seen, but felt
by the few who know the real me
because they chose to know
they ask and open themselves,
as I do for them
they know the truths
without knowing the whole truth
but the sum is made of the parts and they each know,
truth

they have the story of a man
a man with no mission
but life
with no regrets
and no obligations except to those who dare,
who have the courage to care

the many, the few, semantics matter little

just love me for me
and I'll love you for you
we'll understand and relate
experiences.

the world will keep spinning
and the religous will pray
the sun will rise,the moon will wax and wane
and we will have the few precious moments that made our hearts race
and our spirits soar
because, when it's all said and done,
what have I done?

I hope I make you feel
I hope you make me feel

On the other hand

There is no boundry
no line in the sand
drawn upon
the other hand

there is no limit
dreams abound
wishes granted
lost hearts are found

our thoughts may roam
between the how and where
but nothing thrives
like it does right here

there is no right
there is no wrong
nothing sacred
no theme song

there is nothing like
the promised land
that resides
on the other hand

Thursday, May 5, 2005

The Last Dance

The last note slowly fades into darkness…
Don’t give me that look,
Like you didn’t know what was going on…

I saw it in your eyes
Like you saw it in mine
The wanting, passion
Desire and lust….

The last note travels on
Drifting, departing
Beyond our range of understanding

Until there is nothing left
But you and me,
Alone
Breathless

Vanity

The image in the mirror of my mind
Is unlike the actual mirror, so unkind
Years of denial, disappointment and rage
Never seem to touch my likeness with age
Features defined with the splendor of youth
Are unchanged by harsh realities of truth
Deep lines of worry that crisscross my face
Can never reach me in this solitary place
Forever handsome, yet strong, young and free
The mental mirror’s sole purpose: to deceive

Wednesday, May 4, 2005

Clarity

One person’s shit is another person’s treasure
So treasure what you love and discard the rest
And make someone happy…if you can,
because no one is happy for long
And the feelings start to change
Regional differences promote realignment
Matrimonial promises
Fade like the summer wind
And all we’re left with is bitter memories
And a need to escape
For a second, a minute, a lifetime
To be what we want to be
To be what we truly are
Individuals who have
The capacity to feel
For more than one
More than none
To experience more than regret and doubt
Beyond the religious rhetoric of damnation and sin
To look at what moves us, what fuels our drive to be free
To take that step,
Alone, naked, In front of a world that ignores our every move unless we defy it
We hold our heads up and we are what we choose to be
Without fear, remorse or need for forgiveness
We’ve run too long from what we want
To what we think should be
Because they’ve always told us what to be
We’ve run, and never stopped
Because that’s what they told us
And we’ve obeyed

Until now…
We’ve learned
Learned to live and think for ourselves
And to believe what we want to believe in
Sure, the real world may crush us, hold us back
But we’ll die fighting for the cause that allows us to live, free
The belief in ourselves, as individuals
With value, and a capacity for love
For one another
Without fear or repercussions
Or hatred for the way it has been

Stop running
We are free to live as we see fit

Ripple effect

1400 miles away
and I felt it

a tsunami of sadness
it surprised me

taken aback, I reflect
can't comprehend

unexpected, unwanted
who could have known

your state of mind
or the situation, circumstances

that culminated in a heated moment
and in the heat of the moment

the ring of the shot
shock and awe, locally

shock waves burst through the hearts
of friends and loved ones, near and far

who yearn to understand, heal
and ride the surge of sorrow



In memory of Tim S. You didn't deserve to go out like that

Reality

The world is unreal; surreal.
Reality is surreality.
Stranger things have happened, and they continue to happen.
Accountability disappears; it's everyone else's fault.
Looking out without looking within.
People get paid to create stupid commercials.
Reality tv is anything but real.
Entertainment is religion, entertainers=gods.
Teen clique, mouse click, predators preying in the temple of the divine online.
Do anything for money and people will watch.
MTV, empty tv, empty heads.
Emulate, copy, be unoriginal. It pays. Bling, nose ring, one night fling, screw everything.
Ratings soar, open sore.
Nothing to learn, money to burn.
Time passes.

How do you spend it?