Wind

The day began with a biting wind
I tried to cover my face
The wind still found purchase

The afternoon winds calmed a little
They nipped more than they bit
Still, I remained covered

The evening winds brought snow
Sharp and brittle
As I sought refuge

The night winds slowly subside
leaving a serene, frigid landscape
and a frostbitten lonely man

Waxing nostaligic

It's been a while since I could help a friend
They're a rarity these days
not only the chances to help, but friends
I used to have more than I would ever need
Now, not so many
Joined lives have splintered into a million different directions
High school sweethearts and pals fade with each day
I wouldn't recognize most of the people I grew up with
It's been too long and I'm too far away
Adults don't make friends as easily as children
We're too guarded, suspicious, busy
Children are open, curious, full of wonder
They can forgive most grievences
Adults hold a grudge

Children smile
Adults grimace
Children often laugh
Adults often cry
Children play
Adults rest
Children believe
Adults deny

Children remember
Adults forget

Dialog 2

“I could have sworn my heart used to beat faster,” he said to her.
“How would you know? It’s not like you sit there and measure the beats all day,” she replied.
He looked at her, the same way he did when she first caught his eye.
It wasn’t the same.

“I just know.”

Cold Comfort

The wind carries another day away
As I watch the setting sun
The chill of autumn's stay
Penetrates everyone

Smiling in the fading light
I watch the stars slowly appear
Aware of the chill of early night
Basking in the silence I hear

The dying season arrives
The death and dormancy
Of fully lived lives
and normality

Close the door
Pull the shades
Stoke the fire
As images fade

winter will be here
soon

reply

the smile is nothing more than
a mask
worn to decieve, to convey,to convince
either the reader
or the writer
that what you see
isn't always what you get
and the truth lies there
vulnerable and wanting
like
each of us

connected

Satellite signal
Sends the music I need
And I gotta pay

Satellite signal
Fed through my tv
And I gotta pay

We all have to pay

There is nothing free
Anymore
Nothing sacred anymore
There’s nothing free
Anymore
Nothing under our control
We gotta let it go

Satellite signal
Straight to my brain
And I gotta pay

Satellite signal
Forecasting rain
And I still gotta pay

There is nothing free
Anymore
Nothing sacred anymore
There’s nothing me
Anymore
Nothing original
Anymore

Satellite signal
Tells me what to eat
And I pay

Satellite signal
Tells me when to sleep
And I obey

We all have to pay

Satellite signal
Scrambles my brain
And I'm pained

Satellite signal
Nothings the same
I should have got laid

There is nothing free
Anymore
Nothing sacred anymore
There’s nothing free
Anymore
Nothing under our control
We gotta let it go

There is nothing free
Anymore
Nothing sacred anymore
There’s nothing me
Anymore
Nothing original
Anymore

Acquiring

Satellite signal

abandonment

they were here
I talked with them
mixed messages of life
playful banter
and the like
and they left
they were here
at one time
or another
maybe several times
maybe once
and they left
they were here
keeping me afloat
giving me a purpose
driving me on
and they left
they were here
when my purpose
my drive
became secondary
to them

and they left
me
with
nothing
like
I
will
leave
them
with
nothing
more

they were here
and I lost sight
about why
I was here
I'll stay
and
leave
them
behind

Autumn

The light slowly fades
like his breath
he focuses for one second
on the beauty that is around him
the world ablaze with the remnants
of abundant life
no longer fertile, but necessary

unlike him

he smiles and shuts his eyes
a final time

Soundtrack

Baby, why the Rush?
Who is it you need to see?
You’ve been living in some sort of Dream Theater lately
In such a Deep purple funk too
Are you afraid of some unseen Lynch Mob?
Is life just a torture device, an Iron Maiden only for you?
Why should you be such a mystery, an Enigma to me?
Sit awhile, I’ll make your favorite dish –
You know, the one with the Red Hot Chili Peppers
Afterwards we can take a walk, maybe find that Bush
Where we shared our first Kiss before you left for Boston
You said you had to go, something about some Bad Religion
I understood completely, even if it drove nine inch nails into my heart
You played it perfectly, like those Spin Doctors in Washington
You left me on Skid Row, Smashing Pumpkins
It was a gourd Slaughter, but I started to feel better
Now you’re back, with all this New Found Glory
Better than Ezra, or ever, you used to say
Well, I know you’re Naughty by Nature
And lies used to drip from your Flaming Lips
But after you had joined the Trans Siberian Orchestra
Your days of being a Cheap Trick were over
Our Collective Soul received a virtual Air Supply
We shared some Cake, Meat Loaf and laughs
It felt so very Tantric
I knew I had your Heart
I know this is Overkill, but let me in
It’s Human Nature to be scared
We can go to the Police
They can get a Warrant, you’ll be safe
No need for Widespread Panic
This world is Vast
Not by Default, it’s because I love you
I’d buy you everything from Guns and Roses
To Gorillaz
Or maybe your favorite Jewel
There’s an Unwritten Law between us
One that a House of Lords couldn’t break
Our own Trust Company, you and I
3 doors down from 10,000 Maniacs
You bring the offense and I’ll have the Tenacious D
It will be XTC
I will be your Tool for redemption
You will be my Fuel for revenge
Say a prayer to Ra
Tour this Big Country in Cars
Don’t be Disturbed by the Lost Prophets
And don’t drink the Everclear
An escape is always near, only 30 seconds to Mars
We can take your Atomship with Ziggy Stardust
If we stay here, and this is just a Theory of a Dead Man
The Dead Can Dance on our graves
Before the Darkness falls
Leave the Killers behind
Intergalactic Supertramp,
A few Talking Heads,
And one Def Leppard

We’re going home…

**** Okay this is really goofy and off the wall. I admit it. But it was a lot of fun. ****

Inspired by, Part IV: you

I overheard a comment, maybe a remark.
It could have been in line at the store, at the bank, when you were on your cell phone. It caught my attention, so I remembered it. And jotted it down.

You had the most unusual, or pained, or joyous expression. You smiled and laughed, a true moment of pleasure. Or maybe you cried, or bit back the tears of pain, frustration, denial. I took note.

Your eyes left an imprint on my brain, or maybe your smile. Your neck, your walk, your legs.

You showed strength, weakness, honesty, courage, apathy, anger - all those traits that separate us from chimps.

You talked with your child, and listened intently.

You ignored the elderly lady that needed help, practically pushing her down in your rush.

You held your head at an odd angle.

You drive a school bus.

You rushed out the door at 5 pm.

I watched you pick out videos for another sad Friday night; you kept eyeing that couple, you know the ones, holding hands and kissing, with digust. And envy.

I saw you on trial.

I saw you after you were born, and when you died.

You probably never saw me, and you probably never will.

Still, you are all here, living in my words, slowly released from my mind.

I will set you all free.

In due time.

Dead wrong

The weight of my eagerness compels me forth
Even though my eyes are unfocused and my mind is drifting

I will make it through this ordeal, I will finished what I started
That’s the way I live and the way it should be
Unless I die at the wheel. Then you can say you were right
And I was wrong.

unobserved

I moved through the room
and you didn't say a word
I left for a while
you didn't ask where I had gone
I took a nap on the floor
and you stepped right on by
I stared at the ceiling and listened
while you slept peacefully

The soft whisper of each breath
played upon my ears
I could smell the shampoo on your hair
tropical & pleasant
a few strands of hair fall across your cheek
perfect and alluring
the swell of your breast peeks out
from the top of your nightshirt
your curves intoxicate me
- from your jawline to your calves -
no hard angles, everything elegant
like your eyes

eyes that would be perfect
so deep, dark, compassionate
eyes that could have everything
if they could only see me

devil's advocate

some days
it's fun to play
the part of
devil's
advocate

even if it
pisses
a few people off

Balancing

My depth perception is off center
and the universe is growing
smaller
every moment
I feel like a giant among men
a monster to be feared
even if there is nothing to fear
I'm a mythological being with the powers
to create, destroy
and enslave time
I can do wonderful
or terrible things
I can smite or protect
elect or reject
the possibilities
are cliche

I am at the mercy of no one
and everyone

a paradox of ideas
and ideals
that don't meld or mesh
water and oil

belief has left me stranded
and Faith is just a girls name
an old book cannot save me
nor ghosts kept alive by singers
in their Sunday's best
hypocrites who fall to their knees
and sin like tomorrow is judgement day
and they have a get out of hell free card
but there is no heaven
there is no hell
there is nothing to believe in

so don't sell me your bullshit
I know what this is -
a way to control and strike fear
into those who are willing
to follow

Show me, don't tell me
let me see with my own eyes
the miracles you speak of
let me see these vengeful,
forgiving beings you spend so much time
blabbering about
let me witness
a higher power
a being that will make me drop and sing
Praise be

Until I can see it
(and don't tell me about faith -
blind faith is simply foolishness
looking pretty on a Sunday morning)
Until I can touch, and see, and know for sure
I'll stay right here
trying to get myself into focus
trying to understand how to survive
in a world of believers
non believers, and in between
struggling, and at odds
with the force fed rhetoric
that so many have consumed and bought into

a story

or many stories

campfire tales
that the world somehow believed
because they were told to

open your eyes now
open your mind

think about it -
do animals worship a god?

Island madness

I awoke, chilled to the bone
the fire, nothing but ash now
escaped during the early morning hours

People of this village tell me that
the mornings are beautiful
but it takes so long for the clouds to clear

The afternoons are gorgeous too
if you can stand the gale force winds
and the sand it carries

But evening, they assure me
Evening is most pleasant
Sure, if you enjoy dampness and high tide

They each turn from me and shake their heads
Where will you be happy, then?
And I wonder, where will I be?

Or when?

For the scenery may change
and the weather may clear
but I can complain about the sun

And the winds they may die,
and the dampness dissolve
but I will still have humidity

And the sunset may be striking
like it was painted with God's hands
but I will only see the coming darkness

and I will never get comfortable
I will never be content
Until you are here with me

In heart, in spirit, in body
Only then will I be able to look up
and see the stars as beautiful

only then will the breeze feel gentle
only then will the night's coolness draw me
closer, so much closer to you

only then will I escape
like last night's flame
only then will I be sane again

even though
you are only
a dream

Smile

It's amazing how I can still smile
when I know the darkness inside

and how it feeds

negativity

The world may thrust me away
or try, as it may
to smother me
with it's evil vile ways

I will resist
even if resistance is
well, you know
useless, futile, a waste

I spit in the face of denial
and fight the sweeping hands of time
and never will succomb to the heavenly embrace
of giving in, and giving up, and selling out

I shall fight the good fight
and never waver when the chips are down
penniless and broken
I shall rise higher than the phoenix

and soar with greater ease than angels
because I know the secret
I know how to move past it all
I know the answer

It is
?
(Do you know?)

beached

I find myself drawn in a specific
direction
and my instincts tell me I'm wrong, but my
body
keeps heading the wrong way
how can I control myself when there is all this
noise
in my head, forcing me to plod on, constantly moving
oblivious
to the fate I can't see and don't want, I am too
weak
to stop
too stubborn to turn around and too old to do anything
differently
than I ever had
because then I could only blame
myself
for the mess I'm in
again

b4

How many times do I have to die inside,
before I finally pass away?
How many times do I have to lie,
before you'll go away?
How many bonds do we have to break,
before we're swallowed whole?
How many times do I have to die inside,
I would really like to know?

How many tears do I have to shed,
before I finally go blind?
How many screams do I have to hold,
before I lose my mind?
How many nights will I lie awake,
bathed in a cold sweat?
How many times do I have to die inside,
I haven't stopped dying yet?

Dog days

another day in the heat
muggy, hazy... lazy
like me

I can't find the spark
the drive
the energy

to start another project
or finish one
even though I want to

"the mind is willing"
but not willing enough
and the body aches

with the years , too many
that catch up quickly
no longer young

like the summer
slowly fading
after this dismal stretch.

the dog is sleeping
sprawled out on the floor
I know how she feels

I know too well
wake us up
when autumn arrives