purchase

what am I grasping at?
what should I hang on to,
to survive?

When can I finally rest?
The exertion saps my strength
the uphill battle that Sisyphus
would gladly take
taxes me daily

I battle
I strive
I try

to be beaten down by
bullies
with the power
to make it so

I reach out, find my footing
and slip
yet again
on the mountain of expectation

it's only logical
to me

and me alone

I stand on an iceberg
on a collision course
straight into
the reality
of my situation

and it doesn't look good for me
400 tons of hardened
opinion

split my berg into
two
and three
shards of ice
and realization
sink to the bottom
of my soul

drowning
in disbelief
the meanness
of it all

for what?
why?
the eternal questions
that will follow me
to my grave
with grave intentions
I swallow my pride and
answer the question
on a slippery slope
of right and wrong

the aftermath
mine only

and I shrink in shame
filled with burning liquids
that help me cope
and sink
and clarify
the confusion
of my life
and my experiences

in to a picture perfect
cacophony of distorted
words and images
of denial and frustration

it's just another day

where I try to find a grip on reality
some where to hang on to
a purchase
of sensibility
in an uncaring, mean, insensible world
and more

mercy ungiven
mercy waived
the hammer falls
pounding away

at my
reality
and my sanity

keep pounding
and you'll get your way
as I slip