19

so small
the number

so vain

so incomplete

I wish you larger
but time is a killer

it speeds when I slow
no where to go

I've tried
oh God I've tried

but belief is weak
and the pull is great

don't judge
like you know me
don't mock
like you care
don't
just don't

if you want ot make a difference
then talk to me

and maybe
just maybe
19
would be so much more

will we ever know?

Gone

hop
like a bunny
hop
to catch me

I'm a fast motherfucker
It'll never last though
like last evenings snow
I'll diminish

then I'm gone
like the westerly wind

jump
like a silly fool
jump
to catch me, tool

I'm a slick little bastard
within my realm
never know when
I'll show again

soon I'm gone
like your favorite song

hide
like a small child
hide
life is wild

until the dawn breaks again
living within this sin
fingers pointed away
I can never stay

I'm gone

Faces

Faces
filling spaces

Faces
fulfilling graces

faces
I will never see again

random chances
circumstances
unspoken thoughts
forget-me-nots

quickening pulses
minuses and pluses
smiles endearing
heart never fearing

crowded places
shining faces
time goes by
it seems to fly

images transferred
feelings deferred
yearning badly
wanting madly

the faces
I will never see again

the death of a dream

i had always hoped
for a common bond
a heart to share the word

the beating goes on alone
becomes the tattoo of the sadness
that engulfs me

and the search continues
til my dying day

destiny

daggers and words
strike fear
into the hearts of the man
so brave

brevity is the word of the day
keep it simple and quick

I believed the word of a liar
does that make the liar more so,
or me the even bigger
fool?

who knows what lies in the heart of men
only the
darkest of horrors
that dwell in the shadows

begone
flailing doubt
cast aside like so many
unwanted emotions

i know for sure the truth
or perceived truth
before it happens
premonition of the days to come

without the security of a safety net
on the bar high above the anxious crowd
my heart beats for each of you
as it cannot do for me alone

be still, fool, breathe and relax
for the line is thin
and the walk is long
and tomorrow is not a promise to anyone

i close my eyes and dream
of a place
not far from my dreams
alone and welcome

and I drift off
never to be heard from
again

insignificant destiny

we can breathe new life
into many things

except ourselves

we get our second wind
a spurt of energy

and ultimately die

we prolong the inevitable
as long as we can

but we succumb

the wrinkles and the years
increase in proportion

we visibly age

our minds and our strides
seem to slow

as we climb the mountain of life

time is unforgiving
dispassionate
a bitch

life is too short
for others too long

side by side we stand

until one falls
replaced by another
and another
and another
another another

we're a blip in oblivion
a microscopic speck in the universe

but we live
and should always live

like we belong

somewhere

I am I

destination
unknown
means of conveyance
alone

making sense doesn't make much
sense anymore
so I'll be walking
up the street

I bet you thought I'd rhyme
I usually do it every time
but I let you astray
oh my

but the colors bleed
and they can't be bandaged with love
or kisses or soothing words
infection will spread

and the disease is the means
of conveyance
it's how to get from point "A"
to somewhere between
a rock and
no place special

it's the intravenous drip
of the grandfather clock
declaring when the hour is
digressing
slowly, deliberately
with all the passion one saves
for those moments in life
when everything will be different
those defining instances
when it all comes together

only to be taken away
by a thief
in sheep's clothing
with the wool
pulled over
it's
eyelids droop
and slumber finally comes
and dreams are dreamt
and screams are kept
under lock and key
until the nightmares
are real
and everyday breathes
down your neck
like a fairy
dragon
hungry
angry
gigantic

and we have no place to run
and our legs
turn to rubber
bands
of people try to save us
yet stay away from the danger
because it's the thought that counts
unless your dying

then only living counts

one


two



three



I'm alive


I feel the hot breath
I see the crowds
but they ignore me
I'm not the flavor of the month
except to this
very large angry dragon
dragging on
with all the fury
of a solar flare
disrupting communication
between us and them
the haves
and the have nots
the real
and the imaginary
the hopeful
and the distraught
the fearful
and the brave
the liars
and the pious
the believers
and the realists

the wars rage on
oblivious to the cost
of living
and
dying
I'm dying
to be
by your
side

and

you

the dragon

won't

consume

all of me


but if you must
then do it
take your best
shot
and be done with it
these games are
for fools
and I play to win
a fool by any other name
would still
be
a

loser
in
this
game


with no means of survival
or conveyance
except the ultimate
surrender

I let my spirit go

and place it
in your
delicate hands

to shape
or discard
as you see fit

the clay to your imagination
the medium to your desires

I am pliable
in your hands

I am resilient
I am
I

The last breath

My blog is dying....

All secrets known

in the vast ever changing
electronic landscape
that has become our new world

attention spans ever shrinking
as we're inundated and overwhelmed
with the status feeds of the masses

when did we ever concern
ourselves with the mundane rituals of life?
all the stuff we never bothered to share

socializing becomes ever more antisocial
and friends are just icons on a touch screen
wired up, plugged in, in touch by a distance

we feel safe in the obscurity
unaware that we're not so obscure, or hidden
we hang our flag everywhere

we boast of conquests and crimes
and dance our fingers across keyboards
and tell too much about ourselves

for our own good, we're oblivious
there are no secrets anymore
we've posted them for the world to see

but most people are too busy
updating
to notice

Can't get through

the words spill from the page to the floor
the tears fall as the heart heads for the door

can't get through
can't get enough
we're not through
I'm not enough

walking away from what I cannot explain
believing in something that will never be the same

can't get through
can't get enough
we're not through
It's not enough

the place we lived has become a place to die
we can't talk or look each other in the eye
many years, none wasted, have slowly washed away
can either of us live like this another day

can't get through
can't get enough
we're not through
I'm not enough

can't get through
it's not enough
we're not true
can't get enough

we close our eyes and wish it's like the past
more laughter than tears and love that would last
we open ourselves to this new reality
that maybe this is how it will always be

can't get through
can't get enough
we're not through
we're not enough

it's all true

all the time in the world

the push
or pull I
used to feel
that compelled me to write
has taken
root in my fingers
and ears

I write
six string sonnets
that the world may never hear

like the words
I so often wrote
that the world may never read

like the
paintings in my mind
that may never reach the canvas

like the thoughts
that I dream
never seeing their realization

I pour my heart into my passions
but time is the constraint
if I had all the time in the world
I'd probably be

just as sad

Magnetic Poetry #2: A Wish

A.M.

The blankets cover her torso
rising gently with each breath
Her legs twitch a few times
then she lays still

Elsewhere, people shower, and eat,
They read the paper, run to the buses,
or train stations or to airport gates
Harried and hurried, frantic and worried

Traffic slows on busy freeways
nervous drivers switching lanes
cell phones used to call the office
voices eager to explain

They sit in cubes and lonely desks
busy behind their computer screens
drinking overpriced coffee or bottled water
forgetting how great it is to dream

She stretches her neck and turns to her side
as her eyes open for the first time today
she closes them with a gentle smile
and slowly fades away

I's

It's always about the eyes
and never about the I's