Sunday, June 18, 2006

Father and Father Revisited - Your Day


“Why didn’t you ever guide me”, I asked?
“He said there were no maps of the heart
And the journey is yours only”
It took years to understand the wisdom he shared
And he...
…never turned a deaf ear
…shared his time
…never turned me away
…comforted me

I wish it was real
In my dreams, you were a father
The dialog was imagination
You never said that much, ever
Why weren’t you there
Instead of hiding in plain view
Suspicious, greedy
Needy and childish

Why weren’t you my
teacher, my guide
One to reveal the secrets of the world
To show the right’s and wrongs,
Display the tendency of love

Where were you?

Father Revisited - Your day

Your wondering where your card is, aren’t you?
Ironic since I wondered where you were all my life
Not physically, just mentally, emotionally
You weren’t there

I think back -
Have you ever sent me a Father’s day card?
Not one that mom picked out and signed,
But one you picked out, with words you wanted to express?
Have you ever signed any card for me?
Maybe that wasn’t your station in life
Maybe that was someone else’s responsibility
Something beneath you, not your place
Or perhaps you just don’t know how

Yet, on your birthday, you’ll
Bitch if my card doesn’t get there
(why do you think I send such nasty ones?)
And you’ll complain if there’s no gift
Like a child
So much like a child

You don’t call on my birthday
(Do you even know my phone number, my address, my birthday?)
You don’t contact me at all

Yet I’m supposed to know better
I’m supposed to be the better person
I’m the one to make all the contact
Down this one way street

It’s very easy to do, though
And I’ll tell you why

You taught me well

I just do everything you
Wouldn’t do

And I’ll be ten times the father
You ever wanted to be

Happy Fathers Day
You bastard


Oliviah said...

He got no card from me. No phone call. Nothing to even acknowlege that he exists. He didn't notice, he never does. Because to him, I don't exist. I wonder if I ever did. And yet this man is my hero and I adore him. I wish that mattered to him. What does that say about me?

S. Douglas said...