Finding

I haven't felt like
myself lately
I'm out of sorts
out of whack
out of...

I took a minute tonight
to go outside
in the cold
smoke a cigar
and think

I tried to focus
on what could be amiss
when something nice happened

it wasn't a miracle
no angels appeared
I didn't see three ghosts
no disembodied voice told me the way
no epiphany
nothing that triumphant

Still, it happened...

as the snow started to fall
among the colorful holiday lights
and the glowing tree on the deck,

with the backdrop of the city
sparkling in the distance,
and the chimney's streaming clouds of fragrant smoke

I listened to the almost silent night
(an appropriate reference this time of year)
and I heard only the soft rustling
of a few straggler leaves on the tree
the crack of ice among the frozen branches
the soft sound of snow falling against my coat

and I found
not what I was looking for
but something better
almost magical

I found

peace

even if only for a moment