No Relief

Chalk outline of my latest dream
Just another wasted day
Life is never what it seems
And it slowly slips away

A step behind - I run faster
Goals slowly fading from sight
Then the slave becomes the master
Days melt into sleepless nights

Can't stand the rain, can't beat the heat
Can't dull the pain, can't find relief

no relief

Walking down a dirty street
Hands deep within my pockets
Head low, afraid of who I'll meet
My loneliness skyrockets

Shy away from friendly smiles
Avoid the wanting in lonely eyes
Move along through empty miles
No way I can sympathize

Can't stand the rain, can't take the heat
Can't fight the pain, can't find relief

no relief

Little ambition leads to sorrow
I try to keep treading water
Will I be around tomorrow?
Does it matter if I falter?

Can't stand the rain
Can't stand the heat
Can't live in pain
Can't find relief

no relief


This is an old song lyric I wrote right after high school, I believe.

Inspired by, Part III: My peers

I read other blogs, as my links show. Often, I'm blown away by the stunning work I encounter. I don't think I'm a hack, but I feel other writers put me to shame with their beautiful works. And it makes me try harder. When I see the way the author can weave such a marvelous tale or evoke such strong emotion, it makes me think my work pales in comparison. Yet, I'm pulled forward, by a big imaginary hand, dragging me to my computer so I may create output as stirring as the others. I know I'll never have some writers sense of space, or other's humor. I know I may have to stretch to paint similar images that I see others create, but their works drive me to do so. I'm moved into action, spurred on by a tug at my heart or mind, pushed by a desire to match their creations. I am not trying to imitate or copy; I am trying to instill in my work the ingredients that will give the reader the same level of satisfaction and joy I feel when I read their work. At the very least, I need to feel that in my work. If anyone else does, that's a bonus.

To all the writers, painters, and musicians...all artists in all forms, I salute you and I thank you.

Position

I tried everything to build a fire
I thought I created a few sparks
But nothing ignited
So I hunkered down and tried harder
Spinning and pushing and pulling
I smelled smoke

But no fire

I looked around, collected my thoughts
Decided to take my time and re-evalute
Nothing new occurred
I questioned my technique, my materials
I took stock in my equipment and myself
and tried again

Still, no fire

I began to panic and lose faith
Man cannot survive without the flame
I worked harder
My breathing heavy, my throat tight
Sweat dripped from my brow
My heartbeat quickened

Yet, no fire

I sat back and stopped trying, exhausted
The solution occured to me
The answer arrived
I felt ashamed of my actions
Of the time and effort wasted
In the wrong place

I was in the wrong place
it would never be the right time
ever again