The only thing we can't control, we tempt

It can all change, with a splashing wave
or even a crash of thunder
People mill about, stare at the sky
in wonder

the heavens open
unleashing their pent up fury
and change life in drastic
dramatic ways

we heed no warnings - man can survive anything
(we foolheartedly and arrogantly believe.)
well, maybe mankind, but not all men

we live on the edge
of a million disasters waiting to happen
and we smile, ignorant in our bliss
until the images appear on tv
in the paper, in all the magazines
and on every web page

we follow with the story
with a sick fascination,
uttering words of prayer for those unfortunate souls
who never saw it coming
even though
we all push the envelope
we push nature
we aren't happy when she pushes back

we act surprised
when we should know better
we appear shocked
in the blazing heat or the flooded street

We cry to out toward the sky
"Why?"
and all we hear in return, is silence
because the answer is there
we just don't listen

Comment Spam

I turned on word verification because I received 10 Spam comments on my last post (which totally deflated my balloon when I thought I had 14 real comments-does anybody ever read my posts?) Anyway, I hope this small inconvenience doesn't stop real people from leaving comments. I apologize for this, but those spam comments are a pain in the butt.

I am, Part II - Excess

I am the one that...
...cares a little too much
...drinks way too much, when I drink
...swears all the time
...thinks, analyzes and evaluates all the time
...believes in love too much
...spends more money than I should
...eats too much
...sleeps in too much
...smokes too much, when I smoke
...stays up too late, too often
...reads several books at once
...starts several projects at the same time
...stockpiles what I like, whether I need it or not
...will keep in touch, whether you like it or not
...believes in the rules, common sense and common courtesy
...puts my heart, as well as my head, into my job
...searches for the answers

Promise

Distant memories
puddling like summer's rain,
wash me clean of you

Separation of church and me

I received email today
From a friend, a relative, an associate
That said we should pray
For the little ones, the poor
Those too sick to pray for themselves

To pray
For those in the service
Deployed in countries we cannot spell
Fighting for causes not our own
Die for who knows what
Who knows where

To pray for our leadership
To guide us through the difficult economy
The war they created
The social security fiasco
For their arrogance

I receive a lot of emails about who to pray for
With requests and pleas, heart touching stories and horrific details about injustice
Sickness, ailments and death
War torn orphans and crack babies
Housing project rejects and inner city gangs
All crying out for help
All crying for my prayers

Do prayers really help?
Do my words, appeals and petitions really make a difference
to some unknown supreme being
that allows all this pain and unfairness anyway?

Don’t preach to me
Don’t quote scripture
Don’t tell me how the Lord works…

And don’t email me asking for prayers.

You pray your way,
I’ll pray mine…privately.

Uncomfortable, Part II - The pieces

Give a little
Take a little
Push a little
Pull a little

Sacrifices made
Sacrifices to make
Promises made
Promises to break

Give a little
Take some more
Start a family
Start a war

Selfish wretch
Self contained
No self respect
Pass the blame

Feed the flames
You let them die
But you learned to love
what was left behind


That was me

I don’t what to be
Something learned

Sometimes

Not a one night stand but a good romance
you walked into my life by circumstance
love was so close, so very near
I long to hold you now, hold you here

even though it was only a short time
that we spent together
I feel like I've known you
known you forever

sometimes
a little bit of something
can feel so good

other times
I walk around in silence
doing what I should

every time
I look deep into your eyes
I long to feel your touch

sometimes
a little bit of something
can be a bit too much

We sang aloud magical tunes
in harmony, we sang the blues
stared at the stars from a moonless beach
your heart was close but just out of reach

even though it was only a short time
that we spent together
It feels like you've been gone
gone forever

sometimes
a little bit of something
can feel so good

other times
I walk around in silence
doing what I should

every time
I look deep into your eyes
I long to feel your touch

sometimes
a little bit of something
is a bit too much

-summer, 1989

Inside

Through the night
I lie sleepless
through the darkness
I see distant light
through the silence
I hear soothing rhythms
through the heartbreak
I've done only wrong

Within my heart
an ache too sweet
within my soul
emotions dance
within my being
fire burns bright
within my life
no more retreat

Forgive my errors
human mistakes
forgive my ignorance
I strive to learn
forgive my actions
quick and thoughtless
forgive my arrogance
I humbly ask

through the night,
within my heart,
forgive my errors,

inside