I am: Part VII (An eleven year update)

I am...
Writing today
Still getting gray...grayer
Optimistic that I have talent
Hurting like everyone else
Hurting like no one else
A grandfather, 3 times over
Still married, for almost 3 decades
Watching my oldest dog fall apart
Still rocking, and rolling
Writing for me
Writing to hopefully inspire one person, to share their dream
passion,
or their soul,
anonymously would be fine

Frustrated at work
But love my job
What I do, I do well
No bullshit, most of the time

I am.....
Still alive and kicking
Thrashing about internally
Externally
Eternally Optimistic (that sounds familiar)
I am

I

The Fall

There was a time when I felt I could conquer the world

Traverse mountains, plant flags that unfurl

Naïve, headstrong and young I could do it all

So much left undone, so little pride before the fall

before the fall

Asleep at the wheel, the captain of my dreams

Nothing seems real, nothing is what it seems

I wished to be a hero, someone you valued so much

but that didn't happen, I have no such luck

after the fall

I feel the empty spaces

the silence that threatens my sanity

I fill the void between

what I want and the true reality

with hope

but not much else

Overestimating my worth to you

Overstepping my inner boundaries

I step out of time again and again

to feel safe

navigating by some broken inner compass

I move forward

I think

Until the fall

that undoes

it

all