Itch

itch

unable to scratch

tingling, teasing

invisible

sensation

unable to reach

endless, relentless

unyielding

aggravation        

helpless

unable to mend

tickling, annoying

unwavering

exhaustion

unable to sleep

with this

unyielding

relentless

tingling

itch

Get the job done

There is always a knife close to the vein

Or a roof tall enough to float from

or a vehicle fast enough to meet a tree

or a pandemic sitting right here

ready to finish this

Another reflection

 Mirrors

Glass

And Eyes

Show us what

we don't want to see

An image unrefined

untouched

and full of misery

Reflections of the mind

the body

the soul

for everyone to see

Reflections of the fear

the dreams

the hopes

and what we want to be

reflections of myself now

and in the past

and in 

eternity

Peripheral darkness

Dancing on the edges

of what can be seen

hides a darkness

a blackness obscene

Preying on my weakness

of what I hold dear

hides a phantom

of my imaginary fear

I can see it coming

getting closer every day

I know it's coming

Can't get out of the way

The darkness

that we all run from

the darkness

that surrounds all

the darkness

the we come from

the darkness

I hear the call

Dancing on the line

between worlds so close

hides a secrets

that we fear the most

Praying on my weakness

and all I hold dear

Hides the mystery

and release of all my fear

I can see it coming

getting closer every day

I know it's coming

and I'm in it's way

The darkness

that we all run from

the darkness

that surrounds all

the darkness

the we come from

the darkness

I hear the call

the darkness

the inevitable darkness

coming for me

coming for you

The darkness

that we all run from

the darkness

that surrounds all

the darkness

the we come from

the darkness

I hear the call

I can see it

at the edge of my vision

growing closer every day

every way

the darkness

we all will

feel

Hover

Fly close to me

protect me from the sun

stay close to me

shield me from 

everyone

hover

in my bubble

hover

in my mind

hover

close

every time

Fly up ahead

warn me to run

stay close to my head

free me from

every one

hover

in my circle

hover

ever so kind

hover

too close

for piece 

of mind

the activity you partake

takes from me

the activities I make

fulfill me

so back off

but hover close

save me

from those

I love

most

hover

I, I, I,Eye

I want

I want

I want

I need

I feel

I feel

I feel

I bleed

I wish

I wish

I wish

I kneel

I pretend

I pretend

I pretend

I defend

I honor

I honor

I honor

I fail

I

Eye

The beholder

puzzle

there are so many pieces

and no smooth edges

nowhere to start

piecing myself

back together

again

Too far

 How do we know

When do we know

when

when

it's

gone

*whispered (too far)

In the heat of the moment, something he waited for

So did she, but scared, she said no

And it happened, something you can't ignore

Nothing to say, he just walked away

after he took it

too far

It was only a joke, told among his pals

how he laughed, they did too, peer pressure

But the hate behind the line, something you can't ignore

Too much was said, they wished him dead

after he took it

too far

How do we know, when the action exceeds the limit?

How do we feel, when the moment has passed?

How do we know, the right from wrong?

When do we know, if it's taken too long?

A simple moment, taken too far

A word or phrase, leaving a scar

A hateful movement, life taken apart

Unleased fury, taken too far

Leading a broken nation, with ideology obscene

Extinction on the brink, blind faith in fear

Swarm the nearby countries, genocidal rage

Suicidal release, a cowards way

The pillars of faith, secrets hidden within the robes

Denied for decades, nearby and across the globe

Heinous indignity, in the name of make believe

Righteous damnation, damned the victim for eternity

How do we know, when the action exceeds the limit?

How do we feel, when the moment has passed?

How do we know, the right from wrong?

When do we know, if it's taken too long?

A simple moment, taken too far

A word or phrase, leaving a scar

A hateful movement, life taken apart

Unleased fury, taken too far

A new instance every day, captured for the world to see

Kneeling on the neck of the public, cries of inequality

Colors targeted and slowly bleed, officers take no heed

Self defense is no defense, when murder is plain to see

Close my eyes

and take a breath

exhale the pain I feel

before trying to heal

Close my eyes, ask for forgiveness

for all the times, I've taken it too far

How do we know, when the action exceeds the limit?

How do we feel, when the moment has passed?

How do we know, the right from wrong?

When do we know, if it's taken too long?

A simple moment, taken too far

A word or phrase, leaving a scar

A hateful movement, life taken apart

Unleased fury, taken too far

We're not stupid

We're selfish

and in our greed

We take it to the extreme

too far

My Darkness

 the darkness falls upon another empty day

In the sun I sit, with nothing left to say

I've asked so many times

so many times denied

I close my eyes

and cry inside

basking in the warmth

of my darkness

short distances cast lengthy shadows

midnight sun casts an eerie glow

nothing left of my former shell now

perhaps it is time, time to go

I close my eyes

and cry out loud

Shaking in the heat

of my darkness

Mental pictures distort reality

My lenses need to be aligned

Forgiven sins keep erupting

Nothing can save me this time

I close my eyes

and open my heart

bleeding dreams of hope

of my darkness

hope can blind you

to what you really see

it can twist the facts 

and warp reality

So I close my eyes

and twist reality

I close my eyes

Open my bleeding soul

I close my eyes

and truly see

my darkness

onward

 i'm lost

trying to get my bearings

no stars to follow

no compass

just the death of family

and the hope of life

to propel

me

forward

1000 little cuts

 it's not the blade

straight to the heart

or lungs

but the 

thousand little cuts

that will

do me

in

all

 a letter

handwritten, with love

reaches a heart

on another shore

the words

they capture the moment

the intensity

the desire

the meaning

the commitment

the yearning

the fear

a million miles

a single a mile

it doesn't matter

nothing matters

except the words

and the intent behind them

that is all

that matters

melting into oblivion

 it shouldn't be so difficult

anymore

I shouldn't have to fight back tears

anymore

it shouldn't be so bleak

some days

I shouldn't have to fight back screams

or tears of rage

I tried to do everything right

maybe not everything

I tried to do most things right

and got burned

forgave the unforgivable

and crushed my soul

I didn't have all the answers

I still don't

I didn't have any courage

I have some

I didn't have the strength

weakness still

I didn't have the will

to just walk away

I shouldn't feel so lonely

with you by my side

I shouldn't feel so desperate

maybe it's my lack of pride

I shouldn't feel it'd be better

if maybe I'd died

I shouldn't have to relive

every single lie

and when the tears stop

and the rage subsides

and the sadness eases

and memories hide

I can face

another day

of melting into

oblivion

in your eyes

another day of infamy

 a new low

embarrassment

stretching from coast to coast

power

unused, fueling

flames of utter

disgrace

a fall from grace

(if it was ever attained)

and we watched

as a right became a mob

an act of insurrection 

and violence

and death

stolen crowns

regretful actions

this place will never be the same

again

after the embers die

 Heartfelt desire

prompted by

burning

fire

the ashes stain

my

heart

Where?

 These lives we touch,

both directly

and

indirectly

where do they go,

when they

depart from

us?

4 X 50 is not 200

 Sometimes

it eats at me

until

I give in

Like the weak specimen that I am

That I can be

It erodes the barrier of resolve

and gnaws at the inner core

degradation

infatuation

addiction

addition

by

subtraction

I give a piece of me

even when I don't think I can

Even if no one cares

not a martyr

I would never

But someone who gives

even when

no one wants

me

the truth

 I've written posts

to add to a total

I've written posts

To create some kind of invisible boundary

between being good enough, or read enough

and being good enough, in actuality

I've written posts

so I can surpass previous years

So I can reach a new high

But no one reads them anymore

I've written posts

For an unseen audience

of many

of few

of one

of

me

I've written for you

whoever you are

How is that possible? 

I've written for me

I have

but that means nothing to you

the reader

I want

you 

to take my words 

and find meaning in

yourself

to open a layer

maybe undiscovered

maybe familiar

and feel

something

maybe you feel nothing

Maybe my words drop

like rain

hitting the ground

puddling, making life messy

they still mean

something

to 

me

Failure is an option

 We don't always win

We don't always place

Sometimes we don't show

We persevere

Truer, sadder words have never been spoken

We persevere

Because, that's what we do

Or we don't

Because there is always another way

and that way can be 

Failure

Failure is an option

If we don't fail

We don't succeed

If we don't fail

We don't learn

If we don't fail

We don't grow

Take away the negatives

If we fail

We succeed

If we fail

We learn

If we fail

We grow

Failure

Is

An Option

And sometimes

The only one

And it hurts

undiscovered

There is so much in the world

the art

the beauty

the music the food

take a second

a minute

and try something

undiscovered

and discover something

about

you