Unapologetic

No apologies spoken

no warmth in the embrace

the notes tickle my spine

What a fantastic race

The deeper we fall

The higher we ascend

The more we give away

The more we bring in 

There's no need to apologize

we all, are

Numb

Numb my pain

Numb Numb Numb

Numb the insane

Numb numb numb

Numb the irrational

Numb the faint of heart

numb the struggle

Within my beating heart

Numb it all

Make it all numb

So I can face

Another

Day

Unless the numbness

Takes it all away

Deepest Cut

The deepest cut

is inflicted by those you love

Not your enemy

 

But the difference

is negligible

Within

Am I a loser

Or A winner

Or somewhere in between

am I a faker

Until I make her

Or is there any reason

I still scream

Am I an artist

Or a fanatic

Or a lunatic within

When will we ever have the truth

Of what fills the spaces within

The space

within

Outside

If I'm out here

and you're in there

How will we ever

come to terms

With what we have become

Nothingness

I keep trying

and fall outside the lines

I keep hoping

but I'm never in-bounds

No matter what I do

It's never enough for you

I should fade away to nothing

nothing

I keep praying

to a God that doesn't exist

I keep plying

A hope that will not resist

No matter what I do

It's never enough for you

I should fall away to nothing

Nothing

And leave you in peace

Soothe the ghosts

Nothing can be done here

but we will try anyway

nothing can smooth over

the unending crushing weight

We try to make it right

try to make it just so

but the effort falls too short

And the progress is no go

We work to make it good

but nothing every goes through

How do we

Soothe the ghosts

of the past we

want to favor the most

How do we 

Soothe the ghost

of feelings never shared

I think I hate this the most

Nothing can be said here

words, they fall too short

Nothing can start here

the end began before the start

We try to make it right

try to make it so

but the effort falls too short

we try to make it work

try to make it good

but nothing every goes through

How do we

Soothe the ghosts

of the past we

want to favor the most

How do we 

Soothe the ghost

of feelings never shared

I think I hate this the most

I close my eyes

picture a time

when everything falls into place

I take my time 

and open my eyes

to a feeling I cannot replace

We try to make it right

try to make it so

but the effort falls too short

we try to make it work

try to make it good

but nothing every goes through

How do we

Soothe the ghosts

of the past we

want to favor the most

How do we 

Soothe the ghost

of feelings never shared

I think I hate this the most

Choice

Influence

Is fleeting

The things we can change

Are within

We cannot push the boundaries

We cannot change the past

Accept what it is

Accept yourself

Others don't influence

What makes you, you 

The death of you

Dwells within

I hoped to accommodate

The wishes held deep within

I hoped to accelerate

The fire burning within

I was wrong

So very wrong

The fight

Is in you

I can only provide the basis

By which you can choose

If it's me or you 

Or the death of me and you 

I am, 13

I am still here

not that it matters

I am still here

Longer than anyone

I am

Not enough

I am just an imposter

For you

I am

The one who had been here

I am 

The fool who believed 

I am 

ME

There is no control

1, 2, 3 ,4 

I feel the beat

The drive to the melody

I felt the verse before the chorus

I lived the verses in order

I forgot the holdover

The hook, the cut, the memory

I forgot

me

What You give

You wanted to find love

It's been so very long

You want to feel the freedom

You want to be wanted

Little did you know

That the secret to love

Is inside you

It's been there forever

The only thing to know

About love

is that you get 

what you give

What you give

I tried to be a hero

I was wrong

So wrong , I can't explain

You wouldn't get it

There is nothing

Stopping your love

There is nothing 

Keeping you down

Little did you know

That the secret to love

Is inside you

It's been there forever

You get what you give

What you give

Whatever you are willing

To connect with

To part with

To be with 

To alleviate

To elevate

To be a 

Part of

Love isn't something you get

It's something you give

Interdimensional Being

There was a slit

In the timeline

I burst through

Like an atom bomb

The metal of creation

Burns deep within

The carbon form

Takes shape

Don't count me out

Don't count on me

I'm a figment

Interdimensional Being

Drips of uncertainty

Interdimensional Being

All about me

Breathe the breath of life

Exhale the waste of yesterday

Inhale hope and dreams

Export existential reach

I'm a figment

Take my hand

I lead you far away

Take my hand

There nothing left anyway

I tried to make it about you

But I'm an

Interdimensional Being

A being 

Within the realm of possibility

Without the realm of nothingness

I am a being

I am 

Interdimensional

Being

Feed my love

Feed my soul

Feed me

 

I am, Part XII

 I am

Still

Always

Forever

yours

I am

Above

Beyond 

and below

comprehension

I am 

absolute

Undeterred

Unfortunate

I

Am 

part

12

again

20

 There's been something for you

Hiding in plain sight

for twenty years

But did you read it?

Sunrise

So dependable, to a fault

Irrefutable, I am not

But I've been here

Standing in your way

I've stayed here

No matter how you swayed

And like the sunrise

 I will be here in the morning

Like the sunrise

In mourning

Like the sunrise

I will help you greet the day

Like the sunrise

It is the only way, for me

Gone

 Shh

The time to speak has passed

The moment, like so many others

Gone

In an instant

A blink of the eye

And the world moves on

Completely

Incoherently

Gone

I hoped for so much better

I prayed for your return

Instead, I received nothing

Not a word

Forlorn

Between the silences

Beneath the shadows tall

I hid from you

I hid from me

Gone

The sunlight warm

The moonlight cool

the in-between 

So smooth 

And uneventful

I long for the friction

the Passion

the heat 

before

we're 

Gone

I am, Part XI

 I am here

I have been here

I have moved on from one chapter

I have moved into another

I have slipped and damaged

myself

I am

drinking too much again

For reasons you wouldn't

understand

I am

still here

still lonely

still wondering what it would be like

to be adored the way I adore

To be admired

To truly be 

appreciated

I am

still

I am old

I am dying

while living

I am a stupid optimist

I am a fool

I am a man of means

to an end

I am a man

I am

Like Batman

 Like Batman bending the rules

I tried to make it work for me

Aboard this ship of fools

How did that work for me?

I seek justice

I seek love

I seek forgiveness

Push came to shove

Like Batman

I'm gone in the night

Like Batman

A dark night

The comics got it wrong

There is nothing worth it

No true love song

No redemption to be had

I seek justice

I seek love

I seek truth

Like Batman

Never had I been so alone

Unsheltered against the cold

Never had I wished I had gone

And gave up all hope

I forgave your sins

You count mine

I forgave your indiscretions

You weaponized mine

Like Batman

Seeking Vengeance

Seeking Justice

Punishing those who love

Who gave you everything

I seek justice

I seek love

I seek forgiveness

Push came to shove

Like Batman

I'm gone in the night

Like Batman

A dark knight

Underfoot

 I was there

did you see me?

did you feel my presence

in the room?

I was there

Did you want me

did you care that

I wanted you?

I am here

and I see me

and you

for what you truly are

I am here

and I feel used

 and alone

And out of reach

There is nothing more I can do

without losing more and more of myself

There is nothing more I can give

Without fading into the darkness

There is nothing more

for me to do

except finally get out of the way

get out from being

under 

your foot

Cycles

The learning process

never ends

The asking of forgiveness

And making amends

The cycle

continues