Collision

I ran into you
time and time again
and you never saw me coming

I ran over you
to get your attention
and you closed your eyes

I ran up to you
blocking escape
still you managed to turn away

I ran around you
an orbit of desire
and you never broke your stride

I ran away from you
fighting the pull within
and I missed the tears you shed

for me

one wish, before I go

I don't like to second guess myself
it's a messy way to live
but sometimes I rush into things
and in my haste I say

it will all work out
for the best
I'm sure

but I'm not really sure

I stick to my guns and
plant my feet firmly
and come whatever may
I believe

unfortunately my belief is in others
and I have no control over their actions

I once thought I could influence people
by behaving in the right manner
and being nice, polite, helpful

I ended up hurt, friendless, confused
kicked about and used
taken for granted

"do unto others"
doesn't mean squat to most people

it's does to me though

I'm still the optimist
most of the time


and I still believe
that what I do can affect
someone's behavior

I just hope
to see it
one day

before
I
die

slumber

the unforgotten memory
swimming in the sea of the unconciousness
broke the surface

desperation
coupled with the overwhelming sense of fear
can wreak havoc

the mind bent to the memory
warping around the twisted depravity like a poison vine
deadly chokehold

my psyche pushed the memory back
drowned it out with illusions and lies
silence returned

the memory stirred
the illusions whirled
my head swam

and I slept
the sleep
of devils and angels

which was I?

rooftops

I see them silhouetted against the backdrop
of evening's dusk laden sky

pointing to the heavens
stoically

some are faintly visible,
lit by the glow a million stars
on the ground

my rooftop
a launching pad for a dreamer's dreams
and reflections

I am aware that I can't fly

but my fantasies betray me
as my dreams come crashing
back to earth

terra firma
awaits

my arrival

Poetry Tag

The sound shook his bones
like a cymbal
crashing fast against his soul,
a soul detached from mind and body,
shivering in the dark
and fearing the coming light
he fled to a dingy back alley

I found this poem fragment at the http://ravynsnest.wordpress.com.

Please play with us! Pick up the poem and take us on a walk through dreams, or follow our dreamwalk forward and back!
How this works:
It’s a game of poetry tag. Be the first to post TAG in the comments. Then take these lines and add one, in a post on your own blog, along with these instructions. Whoever adds the nineteenth line then takes the poem to Poets Who Blog at http://poetswhoblog.blogspot.com/ and puts the whole poem in the comment section there. Each person who plays need to also mention what site you were at when you found the poem so that other bloggers can follow the breadcrumbs back to this poem. You can play more than once but not twice in a row

lost in a transition

my internal compass seems broken
I cannot tell what direction I'm going
but my engine keeps running strong
and my head keeps humming along
to some song I have yet to create
but that doesn't mean it isn't great
it's just not here to share, or hear
it stays here, in my head, with the dread
I feel when I am wandering, lost
because my internal compass seems broken
along with my internal clock
my timing is more than a little off
and the spring in my step may have sprung
so I cannot arrive at my conclusions
without mentally limping along
humming that song
that doesn't exist
until I get my bearings
again

In loving memory...

We had to put our dog of almost 10 years down today. She was always a spirited, goofy, fun loving dog since the day we brought her home. The girls and dog grew up together. She could always make you smile (except with her breath, though. But I suppose we'll miss that too!)
In a matter of a few short days, she fell ill and we discovered she had a massive growth in her abdomen. She was miserable, lethargic and could barely stand up. We did what we felt was best for her. The idea of her suffering and going through surgeries and repeated treatments was too much for any of us to handle. And her eyes begged for help that just wasn't available.

Jasmine, we love you and we will miss you dearly. You were a pure joy.

We hope heaven is filled with Twizzlers and popcorn for you.

Home

the wind grows chilly
as the sun sets early
the leaves dance their way
across my memory

the air is thick with
wood smoke curling lazily
from brick chimneys
and burning leaves

bees buzz purposely
around fallen apples
getting their fill before
the inevitable sleep

dried flowers and yellowing lawns
crunch underfoot
as I climb the hill
on the last leg of the journey

I'm almost home

Moving

Moving sucks.

With that in mind, I won't be posting for the next few weeks because we'll be moving.

I will try to post something as soon as I have internet access, all the pieces of my computer (and our new home) assembled, and after I rest my weary bones. It may take a little while.

Downsizing sucks too.
Especially when moving.

But I digress.

I'll write again soon. I hope.

Where did all this stuff come from?

Daydreamer

Looking back

A girl before the mirror
Clumsily paints her face
A mask she will hide behind
A façade of beauty and grace

A woman brushes her hair
As tears fall from her eyes
The beauty has passed too quickly
Only time left to cry

Looking back on yesterday
Those innocent days of innocent dreams
Life was so very simple then
What could it all mean?

Looking back in wonder
To the days of lost dreams
The princess, the hero, the legend in the making
Where did they all lead?

Looking back with wanting
To live those days sorely missed
Never quite content
To reminisce

Looking back

A boy wakes up early
Takes a lengthy run
Attends all the practices
The crowd loves this one

A man walks too slowly
His body large and bones weak
Days of glory passed too quickly by
Left him humble and meek

Looking back on yesterday
Those innocent days of innocent dreams
Life was so very simple then
What could it all mean?

Looking back in wonder
To the days of lost dreams
The princess, the hero, the legend in the making
Where did they all lead?

Looking back with wanting
To live those days sorely missed
Never quite content
To reminisce

Looking back

Nothing can change the past
Still we’re
Looking back

What time is it?

Wasting away in this
hauntingly familiar moment without
a hand for support or guidance
I feel I'm slipping away
from the place that held me fast
unfastened, faster, fasting
from the emotions and memories
scrapbooks encased in my cranium
shared with no one
falling away from the repetitiveness
the repetitiveness
the repetitive
repeatedly told that this is good
this is the way
this is right
when it was wrong
the wrong direction
the wrong reflection
reflecting what we want to
see rose colored glasses
out of focus
wander freely
think openly
speak
these things we take
for granted every day
can be taken away
these things we hold so dear
in such high regard
are sometimes illusions
these thoughts of security and safety
a net unsecure
slips like sand through our fingers
my cup runneth over
with a beverage of your choosing
bitter wine mulled in better times
better forgotten today
but I still drink away
with nothing more to say

aloud

can you hear the clock ticking?

Unlimited Credit

I don’t want to pay
for the privilege
To be like everyone else

I don’t want to pay
for the option

Of being like no one else

I don’t want to pay
for what comes naturally

To be me

More changes and new songs

I removed the music element from the blog. I now post my music on Acidplanet.com. It's much easier to update and access that way. I hope everyone can check out the music there. I am uploading both MP3 and WMA format.

Einstein's Ghost

I have added a link for you to listen to my music on Acidplanet.com. My artist name is "Einstein's Ghost", but the music is daydreamer. The link is to top the right of the blog. I hope everyone will be able to listen to a format compatible with their system (WMA, MP3, etc.) I will be uploading all my music files there from now on so please check there often. I will also keep you posted here of the new material I post there. Currently I am not allowing downloads, but if I get enough requests, I may change that.

To play a song, simply click on the link titled Songs under the heading Artists Media, select a song (click on the song title), click on Play and enjoy.

Let me know what you think.

It’s a good day

Some days it's truly amazing

How all the shit of the world seems

To avoid your shoe

And you realize

It's good to be alive

Some day's it's truly a miracle

That all of life's assholes manage

To drive behind someone else

And you realize

It's a good day, today

Some day's it's really a gift

When the grumpy bastards stay home

And your shift goes smoothly

you realize

It's a good day to be alive

It's a good day

Currently in my CD player....Fair To Midland and Korn

I am currently engrossed in the "Fair to Midland" release Fables from the Mayfly: What I tell you three times is true.

It's definitely worth a listen (or ten.) Don't just sit there, go buy it!!!!

I also just purchased the new Korn cd (I don't even know the title.) The single "Evolution" is incredible, and the rest of the cd (from one pass through) sounds great.


I will also have new music on the way very soon. Very, very soon....

Really not sure

Breathing in the vapor of your anger

You dispel a cavalcade of pain

Bellowing with insistent anger

You breathe hate and anger out in flame

Am I to blame

For this latest series of misfortune

Am I to blame

Again? For this travesty and injustice

What is right, what is wrong?

It's easier if you'd just tell me what I'm doing wrong

What is clean, what is pure?

How and am I supposed to know

If you're unsure?

Breathing out the waste of your anger

I disperse an avalanche of pleas

Seeking out my own safety

I breathe in a sense of relief

I'm not to blame

For the latest series of misfortune

I'm not to blame

For this travesty and injustice

Who is right, who is wrong?

It's easier to tell if we know what's going on

Who is clean, who is sure?

In this day and age no one

No one is ever really sure

Breathing out a sigh of relief

We forgo all the pleasantries

Seeking an end to this misery

We find different places to breathe

We're not blame

For the latest series of misfortunes

We're not to blame

For a society of travesties

We're not right, we're not wrong

We're just trying to figure out what's going on

We're not clean, we're unsure

Like everyone else, we think

We're not really sure

Look up to the sky and ask why

Look deep down inside and ask why

We're really not sure

Lineage

I hold the large black and white picture in my palms,
my arms spread
to accommodate for its size and fragility
The worn edges crumble lightly, sending a cascade
of history, battered and yellowed, to the floor
I stare through water stains at a young man, unsmiling
he wears the garb of a World War One soldier,
all creases and wool, leggings and boots
his right hand rests on the edge an ornate table
his left hand hangs at his side, fingers drawn
a single ring adorns his left hand
one his sleeve, two chevrons point to the floor
a single ribbon sits atop his pocket
he bears no name tag
the image conceals his height
he is young and slender
his hair closely shorn on his skull
his expression reveals nothing
no anger, pride or humor
he stares ahead
with a Mona Lisa expression
not a smile, not quite serene

I stare at the man
I can see my father’s eyes
but all resemblance ends there
this man is a stranger
that lived with us for the final
few years of his life
as a frail old man
he would walk everyday
and get lost in the neighborhood
we’d try to help, my brothers and I
by pointing him in the right direction
when he went astray
but he got angry at us on our bikes

the young man in the photo is a stranger
like the old man who lived with us
like my father
the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, they say
I hope that someday
when someone holds a tattered
yellowed picture of me
they will see a familiar
a family member
a relative
and someone will share a story
or an anecdote, or a smile
and I will be something more
than
a
stranger

New Song - Epic Journey

I've posted a new song titled "Epic Journey", an appropriate title since I just travelled a total 3000 miles in the last two weeks (in a truck, not flying.) The song is at the bottom of the playlist.

20 year gap

Reunion
of friends, class and spirit
a few brief hours to catch up and fill in the blanks
- a 20 year gap -
to reminisce the memories of youth
of dances and football games
parties and police
breakups and breakdowns
fights and friends lost

We rediscover those we knew
but forgot
- the years have taken their toll on memory-
and reacquaint with those we didn't know well
but remembered
and those we could never forget

There was posturing and bragging
titles earned and business cards received
miles gained and countries visited
but mostly it was about
memories shared
about the times
the good times, usually
before
graying hair and expanding waists
children and responsibility
jobs won and lost

and the gap.

Some people never changed
at least in appearance
others I had trouble recognizing

People didn't recognize me
-my appearance changed, a little-
but several people stated I haven't changed
Why would I?

The hours were measured in drinks consumed
and communal recollections
and hugs, lots of hugs
but mostly
smiles
everyone smiled
and disclosed information
the answers to the blanks
- at least some of the blanks -
to this 20 year gap.

Spouses were introduced
and were lost in conversations
of events that predated them
Troopers, they stood by our sides
and sometimes sat by themselves
just like we will
when it's their turn
to fill in the blanks

I enjoyed myself
and was glad to see familiar faces
from my formative years
I was disappointed that there were
faces missing
faces important, at one time, to me
and a memory now

It felt good to reconnect with friends I knew
since grade school - there were a lot of us there
longtime friendships that may have waned slightly
throughout the years
but always a common bond
even if we're uncommon now

I still have blanks in need of filling
but the need isn't great

There is a gap that separates the me in the now
from the me back then
I'm still the same me
despite my appearance
and they are still themselves
from what I saw, briefly

We all pushed on
back to where we now reside
and work
and play

Email addresses and phone numbers exchanged
the communication will taper off
as it does
long distance relationships rarely work

but a few will

and those friendships will flourish
because some things never die
and because we've known each other
for so very long

I'm home now
where I feel I belong
back from where
I used to belong

a trip of 1500 miles
to fill in
a
20 year gap