I am here
I have been here
I have moved on from one chapter
I have moved into another
I have slipped and damaged
myself
I am
drinking too much again
For reasons you wouldn't
understand
I am
still here
still lonely
still wondering what it would be like
to be adored the way I adore
To be admired
To truly be
appreciated
I am
still
I am old
I am dying
while living
I am a stupid optimist
I am a fool
I am a man of means
to an end
I am a man
I am
Like Batman bending the rules
I tried to make it work for me
Aboard this ship of fools
How did that work for me?
I seek justice
I seek love
I seek forgiveness
Push came to shove
Like Batman
I'm gone in the night
Like Batman
A dark night
The comics got it wrong
There is nothing worth it
No true love song
No redemption to be had
I seek justice
I seek love
I seek truth
Like Batman
Never had I been so alone
Unsheltered against the cold
Never had I wished I had gone
And gave up all hope
I forgave your sins
You count mine
I forgave your indiscretions
You weaponized mine
Like Batman
Seeking Vengeance
Seeking Justice
Punishing those who love
Who gave you everything
I seek justice
I seek love
I seek forgiveness
Push came to shove
Like Batman
I'm gone in the night
Like Batman
A dark knight
I was there
did you see me?
did you feel my presence
in the room?
I was there
Did you want me
did you care that
I wanted you?
I am here
and I see me
and you
for what you truly are
I am here
and I feel used
and alone
And out of reach
There is nothing more I can do
without losing more and more of myself
There is nothing more I can give
Without fading into the darkness
There is nothing more
for me to do
except finally get out of the way
get out from being
under
your foot
There is so much more
to live
to explain
to learn
to feel
that i just can't begin
I'm stifled
I'm heartbroken
I'm stalled
show me the way
show me the meaning
of
love
I wanted to face my fears
I wanted to succeed
There was only you between
me and my destiny
and you won
congrats
you got your way
and it only cost me
everything
I am
...drunken
...Hopeful
...an idiot
...still a dreamer
...cooking up something special
...going out of my way to please you
...ever vigilant
...grayer, older, non the wiser
...still in love
...unsure why you couldn't talk to me
...hopeless and hopeful
...still searching for that ultimate peak
...afraid of finding the end
...done for now, goodnight
It's never the same
It's never as good
We want to relive the ways
And feel that we should
It's never the same
It doesn't matter
Who's to blame
Emotions scatter
The wind picks up
and sends signals down
The heartbeats quickens
Smiles from lonely frowns
It's all about
What we care for
What we need
the value
in you
And
me
I gave my heart out
for free
You held it in your hand
Briefly
But you let it go
I never let you go
I still want you
to want me
Sleep comes easy for some
But others yearn for forgiveness
Love and loss of abandon
Measures never quite full
But enough to sate
The wanting heart
I drink you in
You push away again
The dance continues
Different beats
Different songs
Same measure
She dances
In a lace dress
On the edge of the abyss
A child older than possible
A woman defined by time
And injustice
Falling
Not falling
It's all the same here
In eternity
The captain honors
Her dance
And she dies a thousand deaths
Before she dies
Another language
Another custom
Another day
Tedium
Boredom
Death
The seas claim another soul
In
Absenteeism
Beauty
Horror
Waves
Shock waves
Through my heart
My soul
My life
Responsibility
Faded colors
that bleed
into the soul
Faded commitment
that bleeds
into my heart
Wither or not
Without
the colors are all wrong
and the wind blows from within
wreaking havoc on my heart
and the spaces in between
indecision
in utero
in decisive
improper
the plaything decides not to play back
the future looks dark indeed
the decisions of our forefathers weigh
on minds devoid of conscious thought
the bruises hide well
the evidence of hatred and sin
wreaking havoc on my life
and the relationships within
Breathe in the words
the meaning of my, life
Single handed obsession
Regard digression
Close my eyes
takes me back
Close your eyes
Take you away
There is no common ground
There is nothing to share
There is nothing left here
Be on your way
Breathe in the meaning
The words of my, life
Single handed digression
Disregarded obsession
I evacuate the location
Of my current state of mind
Relocated within
And without reason
Close my eyes
Close your eyes
Take us
away
we used to make a spark
we had a fire burning
between us
but now there is only chilly air
and the distance grows
between us
I tried to make the connection last
but selfishness proves too strong
I tried to give in but I gave up
and nothing will ever last this long
without
a decent
connection
I read your letter
it's stuck in my head
I felt the words you wrote
I felt the dread
And the scene you described to me
And the tale you decided to tell
shook me up
The elders at the table
with the flowers so blue
The decision to fall from
Heights beyond me and you
the crushing blow
the end of the breath of life
the devastation
the endless strife
I read your letter
and I cried more than a tear
I read your letter
and now I'm here
at the edge of the ledge of eternity
a step away from redemption
A breath away of uncertainty
and literal freedom
I step back
and punish all
who stay alive
